Link's Valentine Day
by LinkHammer
Summary: Link is woken the day before Valentine's Day. Wanting revenge he makes a bet with Saria that he can get her back tommorow without realising what tommorow is. Will our Hero suceed when his target is surrounded by Link lovesick girls? Saria x Link Continued
1. Calm before the Storm

I don't own the Legend of Zelda or anyother things like that even though i would dearly love to.

This is mt first fanfiction so I hope you guys and girls like it. Please review and if you are going to flame, please make it creative. Cheers.

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Kokiri Forest. A place of unparallel beauty and peace, so lovely and quiet that not even a mouse wishes to disturb the silence…

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"

Inside of a tree house with a ladder as the only means of entry stood a young boy of about 13 years, dripping with icy cold water. On the ground next to him were 2 glowing fairies and a young (not that you would be able to tell for very obvious reasons) green haired Kokiri girl laughing so hard that they were unable to stand. Next to them was a bucket tipped on its side spilling the few drops of remaining water.

The young boy's name was Link, the Hero of Time. The Kokiri girl was Saria, his best friend and future Sage of the Forest. The two fairies were Navi, Link's fairy and official annoyance of the century, and Leo, Saria's fairy.

How did this event take place? To answer this we must travel back in time to 6:00 this morning. (_wave fingers in a mysterious, mystical and rather cool looking way_) _*chuckle*_, I've always wanted to do that.

Now that we are back to 6:00 this morning Hylian Standard Time (by the way, I hate daylight savings) we can see that the sun is slowly rising. Its golden glow spreads across the ground coating everything with a feeling of warmth while bringing out the beauty of the forest plants. The Kokiri rise and set about doing whatever they have planned for today. They come out of every house except one, the previously mentioned tree house with a ladder. From this house you can hear the faint high pitched voice of Navi the fairy "Hey! Listen! Link it's time to get up! Rise and shine….. GET UP FOR GODDESSES' SAKE!"

This kept going on until Saria decided to see what all the fuss was about. Climbing the stairs the green haired girl saw a furious blue fairy buzzing around the form of a sleeping Link.

"Ah Saria. Just the person I need. Oh and hello Leo." said Navi as she finally stopped buzzing around Link's head.

"Hi Navi. So you can't get Link up huh. Well I know just what to do, I'll be back in a moment" said Saria as she rushed out of the room with a mischievous grin.

Leo the fairy stayed behind and he had the same grin on his face. Seeing this Navi decided to ask him about this plan of Saria's.

"Sooo. Leo, what exactly is Saria going to do?"

"You'll see Navi. You'll see it soon enough."

As if sensing that something was going to happen Link murmured something in his sleep; something that sounded like "oh no, not again."

**10 minutes later**

Saria stumbled up the ladder carrying a large bucket filled with fresh water from the village spring. When she got to the top Navi and Leo flew over to her. Navi looked inside the bucket and suddenly she was also an owner of the mischievous grin that Saria and Leo had before.

"Should we give him a chance before we 'wake' him?" asked Leo because he of all people knew how good it felt to sleep in after a tiring day. Looking at the expressions on Saria's and Navi's faces he could tell that that was not going to be an option.

Slowly Saria lifted the bucket and walked over to Link. "Oooooh Link. Time to get up" she said just a second before tipping the entire bucket of cold water over the poor Hero of Time.

As the freezing water splashed over his body Link's eyes sprung open, his face turned into an expression of complete surprise and shock and he leapt high into the air all in a matter of seconds

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"

All of this was too much for Saria and the two fairies. They fell to the ground screaming with laughter as a soggy Link landed and just stood there with pure shock all of his youthful face. The laughter slowly started to fade away until the trio of pranksters looked at Link and burst out laughing again. In between gasps of air Navi said" Link…..you…..should…have…..s…een…. your…..face…..HA!... HA!"

Slowly Link recovered from his shock and glared at the trio resulting in another round of laughs. Link then quickly grabbed a towel to wrap around his body and his trusty tunic and hat. He then stomped out the doorway and went to the pond in the lost woods where he dried himself off and then got dressed.

"I'll get them for this" muttered Link as he gathered his things and set off for his house.

When he finally got back he found that only a very amused Navi remained. "Morning sunshine!" she said in a very happy tone that sounded as if nothing had happened at all.

"Morning Navi" replied Link with a forced smile on his face. Suddenly he couldn't hold it in any longer "WHY DID YOU DO IT?"

"Oh poor Linky. You weren't waking up and I feared that something might happen to you while you were asleep so I woke you up" said Navi with a slight hint of sarcasm.

"Yeah whatever Navs. Now I get to do the same talk with Saria *sigh*."

Saying this, the young Hero wandered off in search of Saria with Navi flying closely by his head.

Eventually Link found Saria in her favourite spot, sitting on the tree stump in front of the Forest Temple. "Time to get even" Link whispered to himself with a grin. Of course Navi just had to choose that moment to yell a greeting to the Kokiri girl and her fairy (yeah what a strange coincidence) "Hi Saria! Hi Leo!"

This just 'happened' to ruin Link's plan.

"Thanks Navi" muttered Link with great sarcasm.

"Hi Navi. Hi Link. Why'd you come here?" _*wink*_ said Saria with a grin.

"Well Saria, I just thought that we could make a bet" replied Link.

"Sure. What kind of bet are we talking about?"

"I bet that I can pay you back for that trick you played on me this morning. If I don't get you by tomorrow evening then you win" said Link

"Ok. If I win you have to take me out for dinner" replied Saria with a smug look on her face.

"Fine. If I win you are not allowed to wake me up unless I give you permission" said Link.

"That's fine with me Link. I hope you have enough rupees to pay for the food" Saria replied.

"Hah. You think your going to win the bet?" Link laughed.

"Of course, because I know something that you don't" Saria said with the smug look on her face.

"What do you mean by that?" Link stopped laughing and looked at Saria.

While Link was trying to figure out what Saria knew that he didn't, Navi and Leo were talking to each other.

"Do you think he'll clue in eventually?" asked Leo.

"If there's one thing I know about Link it's that he never notices the obvious. Why did you think I kept on having to yell HEY and LISTEN to him all throughout our adventure?"

"Well…. Personally I thought it was because you wanted attention and to just annoy Link so that he would give you a sweet to be quiet" Leo said with a grin.

*SMACK*

If you could see the bodies of the fairies you would see a shocked Leo rubbing his right check which had the imprint of a red slap mark the size of Navi's hand. Navi would have an expression of outrage on her face as she folds her arms waiting for anymore insulting comments no matter how true they-are (Nooooo don't hit me Navi I'm just the author *SMACK*…. Ow).

Meanwhile Link finally couldn't come up with any more ideas about what it was that Saria knew that he didn't.

"OK Saria I give up. Tell me what you know" said Link.

"Not until you say the magic word" Saria said while holding up her index finger and shaking it in a negative fashion.

"Awww but there's so many like Din's Fire and Nayru's Love not to mention Farore's Wind" replied a slightly frustrated Link.

"You know what word I'm talking about"

*sigh* "OK. Pleeeaaaase" said Link with a huge fake, tooth showing smile.

"Much better. Now then Link, the thing I know that will guarantee me safety tomorrow is that tomorrow happens to be Valentines Day and I'm inviting Zelda, Malon and Ruto over for the entire day" said Saria with an evil grin.

Link went quiet, his skin colour started to fade to a pale white and his left eye started to twitch. Then once again across the world people could hear the single loud noise.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH"

**One Hour Later in Link's House**

"First Aid Kit?"..."Check"

"Fishing Rod?"..."Check"

"Dagger?"..."Check"

"Extra Clothes?"..."Check"

"Pillow and Blanket?"..."Check"

"Marshmallows?"...*burp* "Gone"

"Backup Marshmallows?"..."Check"

"Bombs?"..."huh? What do you need them for?"

"I don't need a reason!"..."Ok then…Check"

"Escape Kit?"..."Check"

"Backup Escape Kit?"..."Double Check"

"Girl Repellent?"..."Useless but Check"

Suicide pills if nothing works?"..."Disposed Of"

"What!"..."Your not killing yourself to get away from girls"

"Fine"

"Me?"..."Strange reason to ask but Check"

"Alright now I'm ready to go into hiding"

(Just in case you're wondering, the words on the left side are being said by Link while the right side is Navi)

"You'll never guess where we are going this time Navi. And I won't tell you until we get there so you can't tell everyone where I am."

**Flashback**

"Please let this cursed day end" said Link from his hiding spot in the hollow tree in Hyrule field as Zelda, Malon and Ruto swarmed over the area looking for him.

"He's supposed to be here, Navi said so in the note!" yelled Malon.

"That little fairy better not have lied to us" fumed Zelda.

"Don't worry girls I can smell my fiancé around here" Ruto said as she wandered around taking an occasional sniff of the area.

"That's weird" Navi whispered into Link's ear.

"Help Me" Link whimpered.

**Back to the Present**

"Your right Link" said Navi as she scribbled words on some paper. "There's no way that I will ever guess where we are going to hide this year." The fairy looked at her work and smiled.

'_Link is going to Lake Hylia this year. How do I know? The fishing rod is a dead giveaway.'_

Navi then placed the note in the usual spot and then went outside to wait for Link while wondering which girl would find the note first.

Link eventually emerged from his house with a small bag tied to his belt. Don't be deceived by simple looks but this bag contained everything that Link had packed (Yeah I don't know how it works but I wish I could do it).

"You ready to go Navi" said Link with a cheery grin.

"You bet I am Link" Navi replied with a final glance at the forest.

Saying this, the duo ran out of the forest and towards Lake Hylia (Navi preferred to fly but I was mean and made her run hahahaha. Oh hi Navi, you look a bit tired… Noooo get away from me with that handy baseball bat that was conveniently placed there for no apparent reason *WHACK!*…Ow).

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So what did you think of that? Please review and let me know your thoughts.

~LinkHammer~


	2. When I'm Unconcious

I still don't own the Legend of Zelda but I'm working on it.

This is just a look at what our favourite characters do while I'm unconcious.

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**Link: **Why did you go and hurt the author Navi?

**Navi: **He was the one who made me run and he was teasing me.

**Saria: **That's no reason to hit him over the head with a baseball bat, knock him unconscious and then hit him a few more times just to see if he would respond.

**Navi: **It's not my fault.

**Zelda: **Oh yes it is and now I wont get mentioned until the author manages to get back and start writing again.

**Malon: **Yeah, and he was going to put me and Link together.

**Ruto:** What! He wouldn't put Link with you because everyone knows that he is my fiancé and as such he belongs to me.

**Zelda: **Be quiet you two, everyone knows that he is supposed to end up with me. The Princess and the Hero *sigh*.

**Malon: **No he's mine, all mine.

**Link: **Girls stop treating me like an item.

**RZ&M: **Shut up. You don't get to say anything until we decide who you belong to.

**Link: **Sheesh. I hope the author gets back soon.

**Me: ***moan* my head hurts. What did that fairy do to me?

**Saria: **She hit you with a baseball bat.

**Navi:** That's right and now you had better start writing again before Link gets torn apart by these currently uncontrolled females.

**Me:** But I need a rest. You can't make me write yet.

**Navi:** *grabs baseball bat* Oh yes I can so get on with it!

**Me:** What do you know? I just had a sudden flash of inspiration and a desire to start writing again.

**Navi: **That'll teach him, hehehe

**Link: **Somehow I have a strange feeling that this will happen again.

**Saria: **Yeah something tells me that those two will become arch enemies of sorts.

**Leo:** Nah how could that possibly happen?

**Me: **Hehehe, everyone wants revenge eventually

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Sorry for how short this chapter is. It's not really a chapter when you think about

~LinkHammer~


	3. Fish, Fairy and Fangirls

Again I do not own the Legend of Zelda.

I'd like to thank JGRDL and pokepower20 for their reviews. Now back to the story.

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From what I can remember Link and Navi (blasted fairy) had just set out for Lake Hylia. This was a good thing for Link because if he had hung around for another 20 minutes he would have been smothered by Zelda, Malon and Ruto who were coming to visit Saria and hopefully find Link for Valentines Day tomorrow.

"Hi Zelda. Hi Malon. Hi Ruto" said Saria in a cheery manner as the three girls arrived in Kokiri Forest.

"Hi Saria" the trio replied which was immediately followed by "Where's Link?"

"He's already gone off to his hiding place for this year" Saria said as she smiled at the memory of Link and Navi running out of the forest.

"Awwww. Isn't it sweet how he always wants me to find him with this game" Ruto sighed.

The other girls just looked at her with looks that seemed to say _'this girl is a complete twit'_ (Ruto can be quite thick sometimes. In fact she could probably give Navi a run for her money in the idiocy contest. Sorry Ruto fans…. I hope Navi didn't hear that…. *SLAM* "Oh Mr. Author", "AAAAAHHHHHHH").

"Well you girls will sleep in Link's House" said Saria.

"YAY!", "HOORAH!", *Fangirl Scream*.

"Ooooooook" muttered Saria.

**Meanwhile** **at Lake Hylia…**

"Ok Navi. You surprised at the location I chose?" said a cheery Link.

"Well it seems strange that you chose a place so open with practically no hiding spots" the fairy said while remembering how idiotic Link could be with choosing locations.

**Flashback**

In the Dodonga's Cavern Link is fighting two Lizafols while standing on a narrow path over a lavafall (It's a Lava Waterfall) which ran down to a room that he had been in before a level below on the map.

"Link can you tell me why you chose this horrible location to fight in? You could fall easily" said an angry Navi as Link dodged one Lizafols's sword.

"Because it looks cool, makes me seem more heroic and I just wanted to see what it would be like" replied Link between quick attacks on the creature in front of him.

*sigh* "Will he ever learn to LISTEN".

Eventually Link killed the monsters and then boasted to Navi. "See I killed them easy and nothing bad happ…. AAAAAHHHHH".

Link had chosen that moment to tread in some Lizafols blood which is extremely slippery and he of course fell of the platform into the previously explored room below. "Ow my head" he moaned.

"What an idiot" Navi muttered to herself.

**Back to the Present**

"Well the thing is every year I have hidden in some cramped or extremely boring location that I would expect nobody to ever venture into. That seems to be what they expect and so I decided that Lake Hylia would be perfect because it is filled with excitement, a fun fishing place and is very wide and open. They wouldn't expect me to be here and so they wouldn't look" Link said with a smug look on his face.

"Hmmm. Maybe you aren't as stupid as I thought" said Navi.

"I've never been stupid, just ignorant. I found that annoyed you which is payback for all the times you annoyed me or nearly got me killed" replied Link.

(Go Link. Tell her who's boss… AAAAAAHHHHHH Navi, get away from me with that other conveniently placed baseball bat).

"Ok then, now that you have made your point, where are you going to camp and what are we going to do for the rest of the day?" said Navi.

"Both of those questions are easy to answer Navi. I was planning to go fishing for the rest of the day and you know that island that is just above the Water Temple?"

"Yeah…what about it?"

"I was going to sleep on top of the big dead tree on that island" Link said cooly.

"What! Why would you do that?" spluttered Navi.

"It's all a part of my cunning plan. I happen to know that all of those girls are terrible climbers except for Saria and I know that she won't come looking for me" Link replied with a smug grin.

"You got a point there" Navi admitted.

"Hey I actually won a conversation with you, WOOHOO! I'm so happy that I'm going fishing right now!" Link shouted.

With that he swam towards the fishing pond, Navi flying overhead keeping an eye out for enemies or worse…Fangirls.

The duo eventually got to the fishing pond where Link paid the manager 20 rupees to borrow a fishing rod and lure.

"Hey sonny" the manager said "If you're lucky you might catch the Hylian Loach though I doubt it. Heck I might as well just tell you my tip, come closer."

Link edged closer to the man and listened hard.

"The Hylian Loach really likes frogs so you might be able to use one or two as bait if you can catch them. Oh and the prize for catching a Hylian Loach here is to use your own rod and fish free here for an entire year" the manager whispered.

Link grinned and set off in search of frogs for bait. "That kid may have caught record sized fish but he won't catch that Loach" the manager muttered to himself before falling asleep with his hat over his eyes while leaning back in his chair.

**10 Minutes Later**

"Aaaarghhh it's impossible to catch these frogs. I guess I'll just have to settle for regular fish this time" said a frustrated Link.

"Yeah, what a way to ruin an almost good day" said Navi.

"Oh we….. Hey what's that" Link said catching a piece of paper floating from the sky.

'_A drop of fairy blood on your lure will repel all other fish while attracting a Hylian Loach in no time. __Signed: The Author LinkHammer P.S: burn this before Navi sees it'_

"What's it say Link?" asked Navi.

"Oh nothing really. Ummm could you come here for a moment?" said Link.

"Sure what do you OUCH!"

When the fairy got within range Link quickly grabbed her and poked a delicate finger with a small needle he found in his pocket. This let out a tiny drop of fairy blood which Link managed to get before Navi healed herself.

"WHAT DID YOU DO THAT FOR YOU MONGREL! IT WAS THE NOTE WASN"T IT! GIVE IT HERE FOR ME TO READ!" screamed an absolutely furious Navi.

"Uh…Din's Fire!" yelled Link quickly incinerating the note but not before Navi saw one tiny word "_**AUTHOR**_".

"OK I AM GOING TO GET THAT *BEEEEEEEEEEP* THIS TIME" Navi screamed again.

While Navi was ranting on about wanting to kill me, Link had managed to smear the blood on his lure and cast it into the water.

"Ahhhhhhh" he sighed. "Fishing is so relaxing…I got a bite!"

Whatever was on the other end of the line was big and strong but Link had the Goron Braclet so things were a bit easier.

"Nnnnnnnggghhhhhh" he growled as he struggled to reel the fish in.

The battle of strength even managed to attract Navi's attention and stop her from ranting and raving on about unpleasant things to do to a certain author *gulp*.

"That's it. You had better catch that Loach after all the trouble you made me go through for the bait or I'll kill you!" the fairy yelled in slight encouraging / threatening manner.

It took hours and the sun was starting to set before Link eventually managed to grab hold of the long, slimy and extremely heavy eel like fish. When he had a firm grip on the creature he ran towards the manager's desk. When he got there he dropped the Hylian Loach on the wooden desk with a loud *THUMP* which then awoke the manager from his slumber. At first he thought he was dreaming when he saw the legendary fish on his desk. A quick slap to the face quickly showed him that this was no dream.

"H…h….how d…did you d..d..d..do that?" stuttered the shocked fishing pond manager.

"I guess you'll never know will you" Link smugly said with a smirk. "I guess I'll be around sometime to fish again so hope you can get some paying customers. Cya."

Link exited the fishing pond with Navi close behind him.

"Link you were awesome in there!" exclaimed Navi.

"Thanks Navs" said Link with a happy smile.

"No prob…NOW GO GET CAMP SET UP AND GET DINNER READY!"

"Ok ok ok ok ok. Sheesh what's with the yelling?" said Link.

"You poked me with a needle and that needs an apology. I want dinner and a bed as an apology" replied Navi with her arms folded and head held high in an aloof manner.

"Fine" Link grumbled.

**Meanwhile Back in the Forest**

The sun had set and everything was nice and peaceful as the Kokiri prepared to go to sleep…

"Nooooooooooo, I don't want to sleep near those old pots!" yelled Ruto.

"You pulled the shortest straw so that means you lost" said Malon.

"Yeah, and we all agreed to obey that contest" Zelda added.

"*Humph* stupid pots" said Ruto as she kicked as small one on the ground. When she did this the pot fell over to reveal a small scrap of paper. Picking up the paper Ruto noticed that it had writing on it.

'_Link is going to Lake Hylia this year. How do I know? The fishing rod is a dead giveaway.'_

Ruto gave a fangirl scream which resulted in Zelda and Malon instantly running to see what the Zora Princess had found. When they saw the note two more fangirl screams rang through the air and the three girls started dancing in a circle. Saria came in to see what the noise was when she saw the three other girls.

"What's got you three excited?" the Kokiri girl asked.

"We know where Link is this year" said Zelda dreamily.

"He's at Lake Hylia…*sigh* he chose water because he likes me so much" said Ruto.

"I doubt the second part of your sentence but that doesn't change the fact that we can all catch him in the morning" said Malon.

"I guess I'm going to have to go with you girls just in case this is a trick to get me alone so Link can play a revenge prank on me" said Saria half-heartedly.

"Well goodnight everyone" said Saria as she walked out of Link's treehouse.

"Night Saria" Zelda, Ruto and Malon said at the exact same time as each other.

The three three girls quickly fell asleep, dreaming of their perfect life with Link.

Saria closed her eyes as she lay in her own bed and thought.

'Link better be careful with those girls after him. I suppose he won't even think of me while they are after him *sigh*. At least I can go and see him tomorrow thanks to the Deku Tree Sprout allowing me to leave the forest whenever I want.'

**Lake Hylia**

"It's a good thing that I brought this backup packet of marshmallows hey Navi" said Link as he sat on a log near his warm campfire.

"Mmrphh *gulp* yep it certainly is Link" said the fairy as she tried to talk past a mouthful of marshmallow.

"Ah its lovely out here" said Link as he gazed at the night sky and a thoughtful expression came over his face.

"What ya thinking about Link?" asked Navi.

"Just people" said Link.

"Let me guess…Zelda?" ... "No"

"Ruto?" ... "Na-ah"

"Malon?" ... "Still no"

"Impa?" ... "Definitely no"

"Ganondorf?" ... "That's gross, and a big fat NO"

"Me?" ... "No need to think about you"

"How about…Saria?" ... "Um…Err…No "

"Ha you hesitated so you were" ... "No I wasn't"

"Yes you were. Linky and Saria oooooooooh" ... "Get off it Leo girl"

"What did you say?" ... "You like Leo!"

"No I don't" ... "Yes you do"

"No" ... "L-E-O, that spells Leo"

This argument kept going with both of the duo trying to convince the other who they liked. Navi tried to convince Link that he likes Saria while Link tried convincing Navi that she likes Leo. (They are both correct what idiots….. Oh hi Link and Navi. Ha I got rid of the baseball bats… WHAT! Noooooooo it's now cricket season you say. Damn….. *WHACK* *BAM*…Double Ow). Link put out the fire and used his hookshot to get to the top of the tree where he lay down and slept. Navi found a nice warm hollow to sleep in (Now I'll just slip into unconsciousness).

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Hope you guys n girls liked that chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
Please review cause reviews are awesome.

~LinkHammer


	4. When I'm Unconcious Again

It gets a bit tiring having to write the disclaimer every chapter even when it's just something in between my writing ideas. I don't own Zelda or anything like that.

Anyway read please kind people.

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**Saria: You two did what!**

**Navi: Ummm… hit the author with cricket bats.**

**Link: She made me do it (points at Navi).**

**Navi: No I didn't. You don't believe him over me do you?**

**Zelda: Actually because you already did it we definitely believe Link instead of you.**

**Malon: Yeah and now we still have wait for me and Link to be put together *sigh*.**

**Ruto: I already told you that he is mine because he's my fiancé.**

**Zelda: But I'm the princess he saved and as such he's mine.**

**Saria: Here we go again.**

**Link: Should we tell them why we hit poor LinkHammer the Author.**

**Navi: Nah, it's far more entertaining this way.**

**Me: Ugh my head hurts AGAIN. Why does this happen to me?**

**Navi: Because you deserve it. Now start writing before we all go crazy.**

**Me: You mean you aren't already?**

**Saria & Link: Restrain yourself Navi, put the cricket bat down and think happy thoughts.**

**Me: This is fun but I guess I better start writing again.**

**Navi: You better...bastard**

**Link: My premonition is coming true**

**Saria: Which premonition?**

**Leo: The one from chapter 2**

**Saria: Oh...anyway enough of this. Let the author finish**

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Yay please review

~LinkHammer~


	5. The Day Arrives

Hi everyone and welcome to the next installment in Link's Valentine's Day. If you haven't already figured it out I definitely do not own the Legend of Zelda or anything as cool as it. That glory goes to Nintendo.

It's great to see a few reviews are coming in but I need more (want power). This chapter will show a bit of Navi x OC (Leo) towards the end with hints of Saria x Link throughout the story. Enjoy.

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The sun slowly rises over Lake Hylia slowly spreading its warm glow across plants, animals, people and of course a small fairy and young boy. It seemed as if this would be a normal day when something extremely unexpected happened….. the boy woke up. Navi also woke up just in time to see Link sitting up rubbing his eyes in the bright early morning sunlight.

"Link you're actually awake early?" asked an extremely surprised fairy.

"Yeah. Just so the girls don't catch me asleep and capture me" replied Link.

"Smart" said Navi.

"One of my more brilliant pl… AAAAAAAHHHHHHH *thump*"

The goddesses like things to be normal and so when Link disturbed that normality by waking early they decided to send him to sleep by knocking him out. This involved using their godly powers to make the young hero fall out of the tree, hit his head on the ground and thus put him back to sleep.

"Link…Are you ok?" asked a worried Navi.

"…"

"I'll take that as a no" said Navi. "Well now he will be out for hours."

Of course this all happened just a few moments before four girls appeared from the water near the portal to Zora's Domain. One was wearing a pink bikini and had blonde hair. Another wore a white and red bikini and she had red hair. The third one wore no clothes for she was a Zora. The last one wore a green bikini and had green hair. Yep they were Zelda, Malon, Ruto and Saria.

"Oh boy they found the note" said Navi. "This would be fine if Link was awake and could escape before they ensnare him but now he's unconscious. Maybe they won't come over here."

Navi spoke to soon because Saria soon saw the small blue glow and knew who it was. "Hey girls that's Navi on the centre island over there so she must be near Link."

"Yay Linky is here" said Zelda.

"Yeah now he can ask me to be his Valentine and fall in love with me even more" said Malon.

"No way, he is mine" said Ruto.

"Stop arguing and lets just go see him" said Saria quickly breaking up the building argument.

"Oh oh, they're coming this way" "LINK GET UP!" said the worried fairy.

"…*snore*"

"Come on, get up already."

"I got food if you wake up."

A quick glance over her shoulder showed that the four girls were getting closer by the second.

"I can't splash him with water because I can't carry enough and he's too heavy to roll into the lake. What can I do?" said Navi.

Zelda, Malon and Ruto were on the island and had seen Link, now they were walking towards him with rope and …Valentine's cards proclaiming endless love? (Get him up already Navi or he's a goner)

Of course due to my genius being directed towards wanting Link's awakening and quick escape it was bound to brush of on Navi and give her an idea.

"Link…Zelda, Malon and Ruto are here to *VROOOOOOOOM* (Jet noise)…get you" she finished to a cloud of dust.

Everyone just stared at the cloud of dust billowing behind the quickly fading figure of Link as he ran out of Lake Hylia.

"Hey wait for me Link!" yelled Navi.

Ruto, Malon and Zelda all said "He's gone" and started crying.

Saria shook her head and smiled. It would take something special to win Link's love and make him ever choose a Valentine.

"Don't worry, Link probably just went to do something for you" said Saria to stop the crying of the other girls. Sure enough, it worked.

"Now lets go swimming and then get back to the forest" said Saria with a happy face.

"YAY!" chorused three voices.

**Meanwhile in Kokiri Forest**

"I *huff* finally *puff* caught you *groan*" said an exhausted Navi.

"Good on you" said Link as he continued to fiddle around with something.

"What are you *gasp* doing there Link?" asked Navi.

"Just preparing a good prank to play on Saria for revenge. You don't think I'd forget do ya?" said Link with an evil little grin.

"I just thought you would be deterred by the odds being stacked against your favour for even setting up a prank let alone being close enough to set it up" said Navi.

"Nothing stops me" Link replied.

**An Hour Later**

"That was a great swim, wasn't it" said Ruto.

"Yeah, it really got me going" replied Malon.

"I should do this more often" said Zelda.

"Let's go to my house and grab some food" said Saria.

As the girls walked towards Saria's house the Kokiri guys poked their heads out of windows or looked up from whatever they were doing.

*whistle* "Lookin fine ladies" said Mido as he walked close to the four.

"What do you want Mido?" asked Saria with a hint of annoyance.

"Well I was wandering if I could please eat with you girls" he said with what he thought to be a charming smile.

"Fine, but only because you said please" Saria replied.

For the rest of the walk Mido kept trying to charm the girls while the other Kokiri guys whistled and called out encouragement to him.

When they got to Saria's house Mido barged inside first in a very un-gentleman type way.

As such he was the one who tripped over the carefully laid trip wire that was meant for Saria. He tripped over and a bucket of water hanging over his head tipped its contents over Mido. This was followed by a bag of flour that exploded covering Mido in white powder that quickly absorbed the water making him look like a giant blob of doe. This earned laughs from the girls who witnessed the scene as well as the other Kokiri who decided to watch.

Saria smiled as she thought of all of Link's hard work gone to waste.

Inside of Link's house was none other than Link himself. He sat up high near the ceiling on a hastily created platform looking through a window he quickly made. This window pointed towards Saria's house and through it Link could see his cunning plan foiled by Mido's stupid blundering ways.

"DAMN!" he yelled.

All eyes turned towards his house at the sound of that noise.

"It's Link!" shouted Zelda.

"Quick lets get him before he escapes!" yelled Malon in turn.

They ran towards Link's treehouse and quickly started climbing the ladder.

"The window's too small to climb out of" muttered Link. He quickly pulled his makeshift ladder onto the platform with him hoping that the girls would not look up and notice the new addition to the room.

Zelda, Ruto and Malon entered the room quickly looking in cupboards, under the bed and everywhere else they could think of.

"He's not here" sulked Malon.

"Yes he is…I can smell him" said Ruto with smile.

"How can you smell him?" asked Zelda.

"Well you see *blah blah blah blah blah*" Ruto started saying.

While this was going on Link decided that he should make his escape.

"It's now or never" he whispered to himself and quickly leapt off the platform landing without a noise due to his training in the Gerudo Fortress.

"Heh, too easy" he said to himself as he crept out the door until…

*bump* *thump, thump*

Link and someone else fell to the ground as the walked into each other and knocked the other over.

Quickly getting up without making a sound Link helped the other person to their feet. When they were up he went to say sorry when he caught his breath.

It was Saria and for some reason the sun sent down a ray of light catching her hair in its light and making it shown with a strange beauty.

Link looked into her eyes and blushed.

"Link are you ok?" asked Saria.

Link tried to make her not say anything but it was too late. At the sound of the word Link, three fangirl screams rang from inside the treehouse quickly followed by three girls running out of the house.

"Bye" Link quickly said before jumping off the balcony like he had done so many times before. Unfortunately unlike other times there was a luggage bag close to the railings and his foot caught on it sending him tumbling down to the ground with a loud *THUMP* which winded him.

This gave Ruto, Zelda and Malon time to quickly grab him and hold him down while tying his hands and feet together with some rope. Normally Link would do something to make the knot be loose when tied but a large seed fell from an overhanging tree knocking our hero unconscious to be dragged away into the lost woods.

**Six Hours Later**

"Ugh my head" said Link as he opened his eyes. (now you know how I feel)

Link quickly noticed that he was tied up and that his capturers were all asleep nearby.

"Navi?" Link whispered just to see if she was close. No response.

"Damn where is she? I haven't seen her for hours" Link said with growing frustration. "NAVI I NEED YOUR HELP HERE RIGHT NOW!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

Still no response issued forth except for the sleepy sigh from Zelda as she dreamed.

"Hey LinkHammer" ... "Yeah"

"Could you find Navi for me?" ... "Ok"

I quickly materialize nearby and start searching for that blasted fairy of his. After sometime wandering my avatar eventually stumbles upon something that I thought I would never ever see. I found Navi and Leo and I can see through the little veils they wear.

What I could see was Navi and Leo kissing each other. That's right kissing and now that I've seen it I can exploit it *video taping sound*…Alright I'm posting this on You-Tube"

Back to Link.

"I found her" ... "Really?'

"Yep" ... "Where and what?"

"Somewhere kissing Leo" ... "Struth?"

"Would I lie about that?" ... "Nope"

"Cya" ... "Wait"

"Yeah" ... "Could you free me?"

"Wait a second"

*POOF*

**1 Minute Later**

"Ok I'm back" ... "What's with the ninja costume?"

"Makes me stealthy" ... "What's the box for?"

"For music" *mission impossible music plays* ... "What's the music for?"

"Gets me in the mood"

I managed to loosen the knot and then I dropped my knife near Link's hands. Of course someone always has to ruin all great plans and so someone did the same with this one.

"Hey what are you doing!" shouts a suspicious Malon as she wakes up. Her yelling woke up the other girls.

"Nothing"

"He's freeing Link!" shouts Ruto.

"Get him!" yells Zelda"

"Damn, gotta go" *POOF*

"Where'd he go?" asked Zelda.

"I don't know" replied Ruto.

"He was kinda cute though" said Malon.

"Yeah he was a bit now that I think of it" said Zelda.

"Well Link's here and he's not" said Ruto.

A small paper aeroplane flew at the girls. It was quickly caught, unfolded and its message read.

'_No I'm Not'_

"After all that trouble we went through to get him" moaned Zelda.

"Aarghh!" screamed Malon.

"It's too late now, it's almost evening. Let's go home" said an upset Ruto.

With that the three girls left the forest and went to their respective homes. In other words Zelda went back to Hyrule Castle, Malon went to Lon Lon Ranch and Ruto went back to Zora's Domain.

After making sure that they were gone Link finally crept out of the hollow tree that he had managed to hide in. "It's a good thing that my bonds were loosened and that knife dropped near my hands or I'd still be at their mercy" Link sighed in relief.

"Now I just have to see Navi kissing Leo, I can use it to tease her later" said Link with a grin.

It didn't take him long to find the pair. However he was not the only one looking for the fairies. Saria was walking along calling Leo's name when she was suddenly pulled into a nearby bush by Link.

Giving her the sign for silence Link grabbed her hand and brought her forwards so she could see the fairy lovers.

"Awwww they're so cute" she whispered to Link.

Link turned and grinned at her in response. Of course for some reason his face decided it needed a bit more colour and a bright blush spread across his face as he held Saria's hand.

"Link your blushing *giggle*" she whispered to him.

"No I'm not…it's just too hot in here" he replied.

"But it's evening and…hey you didn't manage to play a prank on me so now I want you to take me to dinner" she said with a smile.

"But…but…aww man" he said.

"You will also take Leo because he is technically supposed to be with me and seeing as Navi and him are so close you should bring her too" Saria said.

"How about I just give Leo money to take Navi somewhere" replied Link.

"That's a good idea but how will you give him the money without alerting them to our presence?" asked Saria.

"Easy" was the only reply.

A small bag with a note was thrown into the clearing where Leo could easily find it.

"Ok now let's go back to get ready for our dat-…I mean dinner" said Saria quickly covering her blush with her hands.

"Sure" said Link wondering why everyone seemed to blush so easily today including himself.

Navi and Leo eventually broke their kiss and saw the bag with the note. The note read:

'_Leo. Take these 100 rupees and take Navi out to dinner'_

"Wow" said Leo as he started to lift the bag (he's strong for a little fairy). "Ummm…Is there any place you really want to go for dinner Navi?"

"Well there's that fancy restaurant in castle town" replied Navi.

"Ok…umm I guess I'll go pick you up in about an hour and take you there" said Leo.

"Sure. Bye Leo" said Navi and blew him a little kiss as she flew away.

Leo just hovered in that spot for a while then suddenly he yelled out "YES! YES YES YES YES! WOOHOOO!"

* * *

What will happen next? I need a substantial amount of reviews to keep my energy up. PLEEEEAAAASE send me those reviews and as mentioned before I don't mind flames as long as they are creative.

~LinkHammer~


	6. HUH I'm Not Unconcious

Hi it's me again with another short piece of randomness to submit while I think of ideas for the main story. I don't own ZELDA.

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**ZM&R: Awww isn't that just adorable.**

**Navi: Watcha looking at?**

**ZM&R: Just see for yourself.**

**Navi: Who posted that video of me and Leo on youtube!!?**

**ZM&R: We're not telling.**

**Link: (enters) Hey have you girls seen that video of Navi kissing Leo that Author Pete posted on youtube?**

**Navi: THAT'S IT!!!! I'LL KILL HIM NOW!!!!!! (storms off)**

**Link: ……… oops.**

**In My Room**

**Navi: I'll just sneak up and hit him in the back of the head…… funny he looks shorter, oh well.**

***WHACK***

**Navi: HA HA HA HA!!!!! Huh…. Mido?**

**Me: (enter) Thanks for watching my room Mido……… Mido, you ok?**

**Navi: Why was Mido here watching your room? I hit him when I meant to hit you.**

**Me: (steps away) I was grabbing an iced coffee in celebration of posting chapter 5. I love iced coffee... mmmmm coffee.**

**Navi: Well you're back now so I can kill you now (picks up cricket bat)**

**Me: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!**

**Zelda Character Discussion Room**

**Saria: Where's Navi and the Author.**

**Zelda: Link managed to tell her that Pete posted that video on youtube.**

**Saria: You what!!!?**

**Link: Come on it's not like his life's in danger.**

**Me: (comes running in) AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! My life's in danger!!!!**

**Navi: Get back here!!!!**

**Malon: Hey isn't the Author the cute guy from before?**

**Ruto: It is…… he's our second option we can't let Navi kill him.**

**Zelda: Get the fairy.**

**Navi: AAAAAAHHHHHHHH (gets smothered by ZM&R and big fight starts)**

**Me: (creeps away) I'm not sure what's worse, Navi trying to kill me or those three maniacs trying to love me. I'm going to start writing now before things get worse around here (now I know how Link feels).**

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Remember I want at least 5 reviews for ch 5&6 put together.

Please keep annoying angry fairies like Navi away from anything they can hit authors or other poor unfortunates with.


	7. The Dat oops Dinner Appointment

Greetings again my friends and fans (just wanted to say that). As you know I don't own The Legend of Zelda and probably never will so I'm aiming for world domination instead.

I was suffering from a bit of writer's block with this so might not be as good as the last chapters. Included alot of myself in here, no i'm not vain just bored.

Enough chitchat though. **Onto the Story**

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When we last left we saw Link and Saria going back to their house to get ready for their dinner dat…… oops almost said it. Um….. dinner appointment (Link won't let me say date).

**Ten Minutes Later**

"Ok I think that looks presentable enough" said Link as he smoothed his tuxedo and adjusted his bow tie.

He was about to leave when Navi flew through the door.

"What are you doing there Link?" asked Navi.

"I lost the bet so I have to take Saria out to dinner" replied Link. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going out on a date with Leo" she happily replied.

"Well have fun" said Link as he started to walk out the door.

"Just you wait a minute there Link" said Navi.

"What now?" said Link.

"You can't take a girl out to dinner on Valentine's Day without the proper things" she replied.

"What do I need?" asked Link.

"Just wait there and I'll make sure you're ready for you date with Saria" answered Navi.

"It's not a date, just dinner" replied Link.

"Whatever" said Navi as she dashed around like a blur.

In just a few minutes Link was found holding a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates as Navi combed his tangle hair.

"Really I'm fine Navi" said Link as he tried to get away from the obsessive fairy.

"You men always think you're fine. Us girls have different needs and our partners need to look extremely good especially in a restaurant on Valentine's Day.

"Why me?" said Link as another knot was painfully combed straight in his hair.

Little did Link know but those exact same words were being said over in Saria's house as poor Leo was under the same ministration from Saria.

"Why me?" he moaned.

"Because you should look good for Navi" was the only reply as a rose was put in his hands with a small box of chocolate.

Link and Leo both left their respective houses at the same time. When they were gone Navi and Saria both said "Men, will they ever understand."

Link and Leo met halfway and sat on a bench waiting for their dates to get ready. They looked at each other and said "Women."

**Ten Minutes Later**

Navi emerged from Link's house and Leo caught his breath in amazement. If Link could see past the blue glow he would have too. Because I'm the author I have to know what my clients look like and as such I can give you a description of the fairy. (note: if you couldn't tell already I'm a guy with no experience with this stuff at all so I'll probably really suck at this. I should hire someone more knowledgeable in this area for future stories)

Navi wore a pale blue dress made of the finest fairy silk. The dress was sleeveless and reached to a point slightly above her knees. On her feet she wore delicate high heels the same colour as her dress. She wore a necklace of extremely small pinkish pearls. Her pale blue hair cascaded around her shoulders (what can I say, she likes pale blue) which went really well with her striking green eyes.

Link looked over at Leo and saw a drop of saliva slowly falling from where the fairies mouth should be.

"Uh why are you drooling Leo man" asked Link.

Leo touched Link's hand and gave him the temporary power to see through the fairy veils. Needless to say Link was also drooling within seconds.

"Are we ready to go Leo?" asked Navi.

Leo immediately got back in control of himself stood up and offered Navi his arm. "Of course my dear. Shall we?"

Navi took Leo's arm in hers and the two fairies flew off towards castle town.

A few moments later Saria emerged from her house. (Again comes the description time so prepare yourself for my pathetic non-existent skills) Saria was dressed in a pale green dress in a similar style to Navi's except the bottom right side was slit to show some more leg. She wore dark green high heels that gave her a little extra hight. Her green hair was in it usual style (don't make me explain that). Her pointed ears each had a small gold earring with a ruby which set of well against her emerald hair.

Link's jaw dropped. Dhfjejrogbrgoeohnvoeqieqr (sorry my jaw just hit the keyboard).

Link stood up as Saria seemed to glide over to him just gaping at her beauty.

"Hi there handsome *wink*"

Link almost fainted on the spot and I think I did for a second or two but that's not important right?

"Wow Saria you absolutely stunningly beautiful" Link blurted out before he realised what he was saying.

Saria's cheeks blushed a bright red at that remark but all that did was make her even more beautiful.

"um… shall we go" said Link holding out his arm while trying to copy what Leo did.

"Sure Link… where are we going?" said Saria as she linked her arm in his.

"You'll see" see said Link and with that he pulled out his ocarina and played the Serenade of Water (perfect song for Valentine's Day) warping the couple to Lake Hylia.

Link and Saria arrived at the stone warp-point at Lake Hylia.

"I didn't know there was a restaurant here?" said Saria

"Well I've been told to come here" replied Link looking at the directions I had provided earlier.

The pair walked across the bridges towards the lakeside laboratory. Strangely enough it looked like the laboratory had been quickly remodelled and there was a table setting for two outside.

"Huh what's this?" asked Link as they got closer and saw a sign. It read:

'_Welcome to the Lover's Retreat Restaurant, open only this Valentine's Day for one lucky couple……… Mr. Link and & Miss Saria'_

"Wow" said Saria as she read the sign.

Suddenly a man dressed as a waiter came rushing out of the one night restaurant. Surprisingly he looked like me (what I couldn't resist coming down, besides they have an awesome drink bar nearby which makes the best iced coffees…… oh and it's supposed to be my duty to oversee the whole thing or something like that).

"Good-a evening. My name is-a Luigi and I will-a be your waiter tonight" I said with quite a good Italian accent. "Have a seat"

My Italian persona seated both Link and Saria and quickly gave them a menu each after which he grabbed a little notebook and pencil.

"While we decide could I please have a coke?" asked Link

Of course, and would the lady like a drink?"

"I'll just have some forest berry juice" replied Saria.

"Your drink's are coming right up" I said before rushing inside.

"This is just wonderful Link, I can't believe that you organized this so quickly and easily" said Saria as she looked at her date (damn is said it…. Hopefully Link will forgive me for making this easy for him).

"Oh… um that's alright. Just doing my best to keep you happy" replied Link as he wondered whether or not he should let the author get away with saying the forbidden word.

"Your drink's" said the waiter (it makes it easier to refer to myself without making me seem like I'm hogging the story) as he handed Link and Saria the desired liquids.

"Thanks" said Link.

"Have you-a decided upon-a your orders?" asked the waiter.

"Yeah I'll start off with the tomato soup, followed by the spaghetti bolognaise and finish with the ice-cream surprise" said Link

"Excellent-a choice sir, and what would-a the lady like?"

"I start with the salad, and then I'll also have the same that Link is having" answered Saria.

"Ok. So that is 1 tomato soup, 1 salad, 2 spaghetti bolognaise and 2 ice-cream surprises" and with that the waiter ran back into the building.

"It's really beautiful out here" said Saria as she leaned back in her chair and looked at the stars appearing in the new night sky.

"Yeah, almost as beautiful as umm……" Link started to say.

"Almost as beautiful as what?" asked Saria with a coy smile on her face.

"Ummm…… look the foods here" said Link in a relieved voice as the author / waiter arrived with a bowl of steaming tomato soup and a plate of fresh salad.

"Your beginning course as ordered. Here we always make sure that our service is quick and thoroughly satisfactory" said the waiter.

"Thanks" said Link as he stared hungrily at his soup.

**Meanwhile in other part of Hyrule**

"I wonder where Link is now *sigh*" said Zelda as she stared out her window. "I'm sooooo bored, there has to be something I can do. I know I'll just head into market and see what other people are doing." And with that the princess was off.

"Almost there" said Malon as she neared the entrance to Hyrule Market. "We can sell this milk soon. I'm glad that this keeps my mind of Link wherever he is *sigh*"

"Why do I have to get fish from Hyrule Market? Why not just from Zora's Domain, but noooooo, Daddy had to have this special Market fish. What I really need to do is find Link wherever he is" said Ruto as she wandered around looking for that store that King Zora had said she should get the fish from.

All three girls just had to bump into each other and of course they bumped into each other right in front of a certain restaurant in which two fairies were eating. "Malon, Ruto what are you two doing here?" asked Zelda with surprise.

"I'm delivering a late batch of milk for my dad" answered Malon.

"I'm here to get a fish for …….. Do you two hear that?" said Ruto.

The other girls suddenly heard an annoyingly familiar voice.

"And I had to keep say HEY to get his attention while fighting this ginormous shadow beast thingy that had a really neat sense of rhythm. Anyway he eventually responded and what does he do? Lets himself get hit by this disembodied hand. Then he has the gall to blame it on me distracting him, the nerve".

"It's Navi" said Malon.

"And Navi knows" started Ruto.

"Where Link is" finished Zelda.

I don't want to have to see this act of betrayal on the part of Navi and so we'll head back to Lake Hylia.

**Lake Hylia **(I already said that you stupid message)

"Mmmmm spaghetti's coming" said Link watched the approaching author / waiter.

"Here-a is your spaghetti"

"But there's only one plate" said Saria.

"Correction, one-a very big plate. Enjoy" my avatar said.

"Well I guess there's no going around it" said Link as he slowly started to twist some spaghetti around his fork.

"Well if you say so" said Saria and she also put her fork into the spaghetti.

Ha my plan is starting to work. Now how can I make sure that they get the last long bit of spaghtti at the same time so I can do a Lady and the Tramp type thing? I know, I will use my super duper special authorian giga power (also known as just writing down what will happen).

Link had a long piece of spaghetti in his mouth and was looking away while Saria was doing the same thing. **3, 2, 1 It's Kiss Time**.

Link's lips suddenly met something else. He quickly looked and noticed that Saria had run into the same problem, her lips were being met by his. They both quickly broke it apart and looked away with humongous blushes upon their faces.

"I just kissed Saria? It was an accident so it wasn't my fault, but for some reason it felt right that I should. Weird" were Link's thoughts as he checked over the events of the last few moments.

"I kissed Link? Oh My God I did. I can't believe that I just kissed my best friend, but he feels like he has grown to be something more than just a best friend. Am I in that thing called love?" thought Saria.

A few moments later after the spaghetti was gone the waiter (aka: me in disguise) delivered the ice cream but in two dishes instead of one like he / I did with the spaghetti.

(I will start referring to the waiter as myself for a short period of time now).

After I delivered the desert and saw how well my love plan worked I went out to wash dishes in the lake. Then I saw something that made my blood run cold. Malon, Ruto and Zelda were riding this way to get Link if I am correct. I quickly used my super duper special authorian giga power (man that's a mouthful) to create a 1km radius barrier around Link and Saria that would keep the other girls from interrupting them. Unfortunately I was stuck outside of the field and once the girls figured out about the barrier, saw and recognized me they decided they would catch. Me *groan*.

"He's starting to get away from us" cried Malon as the author / waiter dodged their clutches again.

"We can't catch him like this" said Ruto.

"We must use our special powers to get him!!" yelled Zelda (by the way the barrier is soundproof and you only see a picture of the landscape through it. No people or creatures).

With that Ruto summoned the water to flow around my feet and knock me down. Zelda then used her powers to immobilize me with a spell.

Malon summoned her greatest power and ……………………………. poked me with a pitchfork?

"What it's not like I'm a sage or anything" pokes with pitchfork again.

"CUUUUUURRRRRRRSSSSSSSE YOOOOUUUUUU NAAAAAAVVVVVVIIII!!!!" (I don't like getting poked)

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How was that? Now I remember asking for exactly 5 current reviews for ch. 5 and 6 put together before posting another chapter. I only got 4 (i'm sad now). I'll post this anyway to keep others happy (yay).

Please, please, please review or i'll find a way to set Navi onto you.

Remember flame if you wish as long as it's creative.......... just beware the consequences. Mwhahahahahahaha.


	8. Small Section of Revenge

Hello again. Here we have another random set of events that occur inbetween writing the main plot. Don't own Zelda and the world domination program is going slow. Thanks for the very positive reviews I've been getting, please send in even more.

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**Everyone enters the Zelda Communication Room to see Navi sitting in a corner with a lump on her head.**

**Saria: What happened?**

**Navi: Ask that *beeeeeep* author.**

**Everyone looks at me**

**Saria: What did you do?**

**Me: Decided I needed revenge for all the bad things she's done or led people to do to me.**

**Link: How can you do that in such a short time?**

**Me: I wanted to add insult to injury this time.**

**Zelda: Well how?**

**Me: I um…… hit her with a fly swatter *grin***

**Malon: A fly swatter? *a small laugh escapes her mouth***

**This sets a chain reaction with the end results being everyone laughing at the idea of hitting a fairy with a fly swatter.**

**Navi: The shame.**

**Ruto: Don't worry Navi, Link once caught me with a fish hook!!!!! Hey I was whispering that!!!!!**

**Me: Not with me around.**

**Link: I remember that hook incident.**

**Zelda: That is absolutely hilarious.**

**Malon: You got that right.**

**Me: Well it seems that everything here is going fine until Navi perks up and wants double revenge on me………… *WHACK*……… I spoke too soon.**

**Navi: Girl Power!!!!**

**Me: Need iced coffee. Regain strength. Note to self, call DarthRevanShepard when she recover's to shoot Nav........ *falls unconcious*.**

**Saria: The story will be continued as soon as the author wakes up.**

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Well you know what they say.................. well I sure as heck don't so I'll just quote El Nombre (who I don't own) "Adios Amigos, and keep smiling"


	9. The Wish

I don't own the Legend of Zelda *sigh*. Anyway welcome back oh intrepid readers. At the start of this chapter I've decided to throw in a bonus treat for all the people who have reviewed my story. It's my way of saying thanks in a rather weird manner so don't be insulted if you think I'm making fun of you (damn their onto me).

Well enough rambling and onto the story!!!

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"Let me go" I cried in my waiter body.

"Not until you let us into see Link" said Zelda.

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to do this but you've forced me to take drastic measures" I said and somehow managed to click my fingers.

Out of the bushes sprung DarthRevanShepard with an elephant tranquilizer gun, JGRDL with a cricket bat (conveniently placed in that bush), pokepower20 with a giant speech bubble club, linkluvr01 with a list of messages to yell at Navi for hurting the author, HUNGDEADSCREAMING with rope tied to a small rubber ducky, and MegamanSora with two cookies (for me of course).

"You will release me or feel the power of my reviewers' randomness" I said smugly.

**10 Minutes Later**

"Remind me how we got into this mess" said DarthRevanShepard as she looked at everyone else who was immobilized by Zelda, Ruto and Malon's powers.

"Beats me" said JGRDL while watching the cricket bat walk away to what would become another convenient spot in the future.

"Noooooooo, not the pitchfork!!!!!" screamed HUNGDEADSCREAMING as Malon poked the rubber ducky (the horror).

"What were we supposed to do anyway?" said pokepower20 while trying to figure out why whatever was said appeared in the giant speech bubble club.

"I don't know. I was practicing my speech against Navi while we were being told the plan" replied linkluvr01.

"They shall never take my cookies!!!" yelled MegamanSora with a crazy look in his eyes.

"Well at least there's still plan 2" I said.

"What's that?" everyone else said.

I clicked my fingers again.

All of a sudden Malon, Zelda and Ruto were knocked unconscious by an assortment of fruits thrown by a group of monkeys. Of course that meant we could get free from our immobilization.

"Good job guys" I said.

"Do you mean to tell us that our brilliant plan that failed was beaten by a bunch of fruit throwing monkeys?" everyone else said.

"ummm……… yeah I guess you could say that"

"We're leaving!!!!!"

"Before you go I want my cookies MegamanSora"

"Here, have one" he replied.

"Well that's one for the update…… so that means I can set Navi on you…… cool"

"Nooooooo, take them both AAAAAAHHHHHHHH" and with that everyone else disappeared into thin air.

Thanks guys. You just helped get me back into a mood for writing this story.

**Back to Link and Saria**

"Mmmm that ice-cream was delicious" said Saria.

"Yeah…. Hey where's the waiter so we can pay him?" said Link suddenly looking around.

"Right here" said a rather disheveled me.

"Well I'm ready to pay the bill" said Link.

"Ok, that will be 20 rupee's" replied the waiter.

"That cheap for those excellent meals" said Saria with astonishment.

"I don't need much money. Just enough for 4 iced coffees"

"Ok" said Link handing the waiter / author a red rupee.

"Um, do you want to take a walk along the lake shore?" asked Link in a shy voice.

"Of course I would Link. You can be so romantic sometimes" said Saria with joy.

Link blushed a deep red at this remark. He then held his arm out to her, which she then took in her own and they started to walk along the lake shore with the moon and stars shining down on them and the romantic music being player don the violin by the waiter flowing across the water. (*sigh* so romant……… hey wait a second. Since when can I play the violin? Hmmm what's this little note? _'this story needed a bit of a woman's : Navi'_.

Can't that fairy stop annoying me at every given oppurtunity?)

The violin suddenly disappeared and was mysteriously replaced by a miniature portable piano (grade 5 YAY!!!!). Of course Saria and Link were so lost in their own little world that they did not notice. They also didn't notice the blue tektite that was leaping towards them. However, the super monkey that started wrestling with it was also ignored (good thing I trained those monkeys huh?). About an hour passed for these two before they came back to reality with the rest of us.

"It's getting late now Link. Let's go back home now" said Saria in a quiet voice as she leaned her head on his shoulder.

"Ok Saria……. for you" said Link in that same type of soft voice (except male of course) before taking out his Fairy Ocarina that was given to him by Saria when he first left the forest (I believe that Link returned the Ocarina of Time to Zelda. Some people say that he can only warp because the OoT is very magical. Well so is Saria's Fairy Ocarina because it has the spirits of the forest and a bit of the ultimate magic / power. Friendship / Love).

Link then played the Minuet of Forest, warping them to the Sacred Forest Meadow. The lovely couple then traversed the maze and exited into the Lost Woods. Link and Saria knew this place like the backs of their hands (except that small bit there) and so it was easy to travel through the correct pathways and find the Lost Wood to Kokiri Forest entrance.

**Meanwhile**

"Thank you for this lovely night out Leo" said Navi as the two fairies flew towards Kokiri Forest.

"I should be the one thanking you for being such a beautiful date" replied Leo as he kissed her hand.

"Oh aren't you the charmer" said Navi with a blush spreading across her fairy features.

After a small amount of time Leo suddenly said "I wonder how Saria is going? I worry about her when I'm away."

"Don't worry I'm sure she's fine. If anyone it's Link we should be worrying about, this being his first date experience" replied Navi with a smile.

The two fairies finally entered Kokiri Forest to see Link and Saria getting ready to go back to their respective houses.

"Link I've had a really wonderful night and everything that happened seemed so perfect" said Saria as she looked up at the taller boy (I wonder if I ever mentioned that he is about the age of 13 in this story).

"Did you just say everything was perfect, as in the whole spaghetti thing?" said Link with a cheeky grin.

"Well…… yeah, I guess. Just to let you know it wasn't as strange as I thought it would seem straight away" said Saria with a blush creeping across her face.

"Well if that's the case……" said Link and he looked at Saria straight in the eyes. Slowly their faces inched closer together, their lips barely apart and…….

"HEY, LISTEN!!!" shouted Navi instantly making the young couple turn around and look at the fairy then bid each other goodnight and go to bed.

Whaaaaat!!? Ok. It's time for me to do the time travel thingy that I did in the first chapter *wiggle finger's in mysterious way* man I can't seem to get enough of that.

**A Few Moments Ago**

"Well if that's the case……" said Link and he looked at Saria straight in the eyes. Slowly their faces inched closer together; their lips barely apart and then they finally came together in a passionate kiss.

"Wow" said Link" that was…… that was just absolutely amazing."

"So is this what they call destiny?" said Saria as she looked up her best friend…… no her true love.

"I guess so" said Link with a smile just for Saria.

"But I'm still Kokiri and you told me that you are Hylian so that means I'll stay a kid forever and you'll grow old and die" said Saria with some tear's in her eyes.

"Don't worry Saria. The way I figure it, those Goddesses and their Tri-Force owe me at least one wish and so I want you to use that wish to do what you truly desire." Link said with a look of love.

"You'd let me use your single wish?" said Saria with even more admiration for this man she loved.

"Of course Saria. Besides, from the way I have to keep saving the world all the time I'm bound to earn another few brownie points with the almighty deities" Link grinned.

"Well then…… Almighty creators of Hyrule, the Hero of Time has bestowed upon me a wish that was granted to him as favour for saving the world. As such I wish that I could be a mortal and grow up, so I can be with him for as long as we both live. I beg of you to grant this one wish, which houses my biggest desire."

**Up In the Heavens (beam me up Scotty)**

"Yo Din, Nayru we got a wish coming through" said the creative Farore as she looked down at her latest email.

"Delete it, we don't need to give people wishes unless they truly deserve it" said the fiery Din with a sneer.

"Din has a point there though it is rather crude" said the thoughtful Nayru.

"Yeah that would be the case except this one is the wish granted to the Hero of Time" replied Farore.

"When did we give him a wish?" said Din.

"It was last Christmas at the, _'Hero of Time Saved Our World' _party. Me and Farore decided that he deserved a reward.

"How did I decide to grant a wish? You needed my authorization as well" said Din.

"As I recall, you were drunk on bomb flower juice imported from Death Mountain" Farore curtly replied.

"Fine then. Let's just give the mortal the wish" fumed Din.

With that the three golden goddesses raised their hands and a golden beam of light speared down towards Saria, lighting the area with a brief flash of gold (What? They aren't called golden goddesses for nothing).

**Back in the Forest**

As the golden glow disappeared Link was finally able to uncover his eyes. What he saw was Saria in the body of what would be considered a 13 year old Hylian. Her green hair was slightly longer now, her womanly features starting to come out, and her dress was now slightly too small (fihedvowvegno… anyone got some sticky tape to hold up this blasted jaw of mine).

"How do I look?" said Saria as she looked straight back at the gaping Link.

"……… Saria you look even more beautiful than ever. Of course you were beautiful then but we were just younger children and…." Link started.

"Shush" said Saria putting a finger on his lips. This was quickly replaced by her lips again. Links arms went around Saria's waist while her arms encircled his neck.

In some nearby bushes was a butterfly net, a roll of masking tape, one very happy author, a sleeping male fairy, and a female fairy with masking tape around her mouth and wings.

"Awwww isn't that sweet there Navi and Leo?"

"Mmmmmmmppppppphhhhhhh….. *Translate:Hey let me free*……… Mmpphh *Translate: LISTEN!!!!*"

"……… *snore*………"

"Glad to see you agree with me"

Well there's not all that much left to say about this night. Saria and Link kissed each other for a bit more before heading off to their respective houses to sleep with only each other in their thoughts and dreams (Aint I a sucker for romance?) Zelda, Ruto and Malon all went back to their homes after waking up and decided that they would put out death warrants for monkeys the next morning. My four iced coffees arrived and now I'm down to two.

I let Leo keep sleeping and then released Navi who suddenly flew off somewhere and I don't know where she is but I know she'll try and get me. That's why I'll be on full alert *eyes start darting around in suspicious manner* and she'll never get me………*WHACK*, *BAM*, *SPLAT*, *BZZZZTT*, *POKE*, *CRUNCH*……… The agony *thump*

In order of appearance:

*WHACK* - Baseball Bat

*BAM* - Cricket Bat

*SPLAT* - Massive Water Bomb

*BZZZZTT* - Electric Cattle Prod

*POKE* - The Dreaded Pitchfork

*CRUNCH* - You don't want to know and personally I'd rather forget.

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Well there we are. I hope you enjoyed this. Remember to review and send me cookies and iced coffee's. See what happens when you review my story...... you get put in the story as a guest star (YAY!!).


	10. The End or is it?

Is this the last time I'll be saying the disclaimer for Link's Valentine's Day? I don't own the Legend of Zelda *cry*

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**Me: Well I guess that raps up this story.**

**Navi: Waaaaaaiiiiiiiit!!!!!**

**Me: WHAT!!!?**

**Navi: Why don't you ask the reviewers to tell you whether to continue or not.**

**Link: Yeah and they can even give their own idea's for what happens next.**

**Saria: Then you can either use one or more as ideas while giving credit to the person / people who gave those idea's.**

**Zelda: It's a brilliant idea. I hope that you people like me.**

**Malon: Ditto**

**Ruto: Ditto…… umm what's that mean.**

**Malon: It means same. So when I said it I was just saying what Zelda said in a one word way.**

**Ruto: Ohhhh…… I thought it was a pokemon.**

**Leo: You play that game?**

**Link: Hey what are you doing here?**

**Leo: It is the Zelda Chat Room and seeing as I'm included as a new part of the original Legend of Zelda storyline I have full rights to be here. I have a lawyer if you want to disagree.**

**Link: ummm…… I lost track of what he was saying after the first few words.**

**Saria: Never mind.**

**Me: ****Well this madness is all consuming right now so I'll probably be pulled into it soon. So please tell me whether or not you think I should continue writing this story. If you think I should, throw a few idea's in for what you think may happen. Who knows the results of my random way's of interpreting things.**

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Well now you've heard what I've had to say so it's time for you to say your part by reviewing. If you don't think I should continue this story but you have an idea for me that may continue with the story line then by all means tell me about it and if you think it should be a new story.

To JGRDL, DarthRevanShepard, MegamanSora, HUNGDEADSCREAMING, linkluvr01, and pokepower20 i give the right to refer to this story in any of your own, just tell me about it and perhaps put a small guest appearance of me in the story (yeah I know i'm greedy). This is for reviewing the story even if you only did it once, it is more than the hundreds of other who read the story.

This is Author Pete, the famous Link Hammer sighning out (for now...... Mwahahahaha)

P.S: That was a bit dramatic dontcha think?


	11. I'm Back!

Hi again everyone. I'M BAAAAAAACK!!! and guess what, I am actually happy to say that I do not own the legend of zelda because I can now say it as the disclaimer in this story again. YAY!!!

School's started again so I don't have as much time to work on new chapters as would like but that doesn't mean I won't find anytime to write. Well enjoy the next exciting installment in: The Legend of Zelda, Link's Valentine Day

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The pain…….. it's gone? WOOHOO that means that our grand band of Zelda characters can continue to be insulted, bribed, set-up or just plain annoyed. Oops, scratch the annoyed part, that belongs to Navi and no-one can take it from her.

"You're annoying me Author" said a random person.

"What!!!!?" yelled Navi as she burst into my room. "Are you stealing my only job and seeming point of existance!!!!?"

"Nooooooo wait I can explain *WHACK*……… remind me to check for conveniently placed items that may be used to beat, main, brutalize or possibly kill unsuspecting authors. If the items can be used to do the same thing to other characters instead then we'll just see what happens.

**Kokiri Forest**

Ah what a peaceful scene this is. The sun is just rising, spreading it's golden glow across the forest and bringing life to the forest in preparation for a new day. Accompanying this serenity is the proud and extremely loud crow of a cucco sitting on the balcony of none other than Link's House. So peaceful *sight*……….

"STUPID BIRD!!!" yelled the now awake Link. "CAN'T A GUY GET SOME SLEEP AFTER SAVING THE WORLD AND BEING CHASED BY PERSISTANT AND POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS WOMEN!!!?"

The Cucco crowed again.

"IM WARNING YOU TO SHUT UP NOW BEFORE I GET ANGRY!!!"

The Cucco's reply was to crow even louder.

Link's reply was to throw his boot out the door knocking the offending Cucco off its perch and giving it a bad headache for the rest of the day.

Inside of the tree house Link put on his token green tunic. The boy then went over to the nearby mirror where he ran his fingers through his messy blonde hair before putting his long green hat thingy on over it.

"I could really use a cool soothing drink with caffeine in it right now" said Link.

"Here you go" said a familiar voice coming from a cloaked guy holding out an iced coffee.

"Gee, thanks" said Link quickly taking a mouthful. He suddenly spat it out as he came to reality "What are you doing here LinkHammer!!? I though you had finished with this story."

"Some friends wanted me to continue (thanks DarthRevanShepard, linkluvr01 and HUNGDEADSCREAMING) and so I decided that we can come up with more randomness. Isn't that exciting?"

"You must be mad. I thank you for how you set me up with Saria but don't you think the others will rip your guts out?" said Link.

"Yeah of course I'm mad, but sticky tape fixes everything ……… At least I think it does. Oh and don't worry about the gut ripping thing, I rated this baby T so that kind of violence can't happen…… at least not where the reader's can get a description of the event happening."

Link just looked at the mad, iced coffee loving author and took a step backward then spoke. "Well Navi won't take this very well but she's away right now for some reason so I guess you lucked out."

"Yeah, sure is peaceful without her………"

"Hey, Listen Link I'm back with breakfast" said Navi as she flew in the tree house. "Wait a second, who's this guy?"

"Umm... I'm the friendly postman with a letter for you Link, three letters in fact (I stole that line from the real postman)…… hey I do have the letters" I said in a gruff voice and handed Link the three letters.

"Ok, but you seem familiar for some reason" said Navi suspiciously.

"I've never met you before Navi and ……. Oh crap."

"LinkHammer? ....... I'm going to hurt you badly!!!" yelled Navi

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"

**10 Minutes Later**

"Ow …….. The agony" I groaned from under the pile of books, fruit, chairs, baseball bats and cricket bats (I'll get Navi a new item soon).

"Look what you made me do, I don't have anything for breakfast now!!" fumed Navi.

"My room….." said Link in a shocked voice.

Link's room was covered in torn paper, fruit juice and other messy items. His furniture was pretty beaten up and strewn around the place.

"I guess I have to get breakfast at Saria's house now" said Link as he slowly walked out of the building.

"Wait, I'm coming with you" said Navi.

"………….Help' *falls unconscious*.

DarthRevanShepard, linkluvr01 and HUNGDEAD SCREAMING appear in the room and pull the unconscious author out of the pile of stuff he was under. Then they disappear to plan their own fights against Navi.

**Saria's House**

Link walked up to the front door and knocked three times. The door was soon answered by a bright and chirpy Saria and her fairy Leo.

"Link what you are doing here this morning?" she said after giving her love a big affectionate hug.

"It's a rather long story but while I'm telling it can we have breakfast with you?" Link responded.

"What happened to the breakfast Navi got you?" asked Saria.

"That fits in with the story" said Link glumly.

"Well isn't it a good thing that I have enough food here all of us?" beamed Saria as she set about preparing breakfast.

When she was done she put all the food on the table and everyone sat around it. "So…. Tell me what happened" said Saria with a curious voice.

"Well it all happened this morning when…….."

**10 Minutes Later**

"And that's what happened" finished Link as he picked up a piece if fruit and bit into it with relish.

"So you're meaning to tell me that that crazy LinkHammer author guy is back and Navi almost killed him when she found out" said Saria with a look of shock and surprise on her face.

"Well that basically sums it up" said Navi from the other end of the table.

"Poor guy" said Leo shaking his head.

"What, he deserved it" said Navi with a look of irritation on her face.

"Well beating the living daylights out of a slightly strange author just because you don't like him is really not an excuse" said Saria with a frown.

"Hey I just remembered something" said Link in a sudden exclamation of enlightenment.

"What" asked Leo.

"He gave me these letters before he was assaulted" replied Link as he pulled out the three letters. One was red with a big letter 'M' on it while another was blue with a big letter 'R' on it and the last one was pink with a big letter 'Z' on it.

"Go on and open them" said Navi.

"Ok, ok. Sheesh you sure are impatient for a glowing bug with wings" snapped Link in annoyance. The look of fury on Navi's face was enough to make a redead cringe in fright.

"I AM GOING TO HURT YOU LINK!!" the blue fairy yelled and charged at him.

"Noooo……. LinkHammer made me say it" said Link covering his face.

This instantly made Navi change directions, fly out of the house and head towards Link's tree house screaming "I'LL HURT HIM INSTEAD THEN!!" resulting in a few Kokiris' running inside their own house in fright.

"You placed the blame on an innocent bystander?" said Leo.

"I don't know what made me say it…… I'm sorry" said Link giving puppy dog eyes.

"Try saying that to the poor author" replied Leo shaking his head.

"I'll just open these letters and try to forget it" said Link.

**Meanwhile**

"Ugh… man that hurt, but I'm fine now…… *WHACK*………ow" (falls unoncious again… hmm I seem to be making a habit of that)

"THAT WAS FOR MAKING LINK INSULT ME YOU *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!* screamed Navi at the top of her lungs.

"…………………"

"GREAT FIRST YOU GET ME INSULTED AND NOW YOU IGNORE ME!!!…… oh wait, he seems to be unconscious" (clap, clap for the handicap)

"Well I'll just leave him here until he recovers"

Suddenly a loud noise erupted from Saria's house.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"

Navi quickly flew into the building to see Link holding three pieces of paper in his shaking hand.

"What's wrong Link?" asked Navi in a worried voice. Link started to reply when he was interrupted by Navi trying to figure out what was wrong.

"Is it a message telling us of impending doom?"

"No it……"

"How about some huge evil power that is about to destroy you and you aren't ready?"

"No, Navi let me spe…."

"Is it the Black Spot?" (Thanks Muppet Treasure Island)

"SHUT UP NAVI AND LET ME SPEAK!!" Link suddenly yelled.

"Well you didn't have to yell, you could have asked" Navi said in a sulky voice.

*groan of annoyance*

Leo and Saria were still just standing there looking at the boy and the fairy trying to figure out how they didn't kill each other.

"Ok I'm going to tell all of you what these letters say" said Link in a fearful voice.

"Go ahead Link" said Saria putting her arm around him "It can't be that bad can it?"

"Link smiled at his girl friend who he was really considering asking if she would like to marry him.

"Well these letters are from Zelda, Malon and Ruto" Link started to say before he had to take a quick drink of water to moisturize his drying mouth. "The three girls want me to come visit them on some urgent business that they say they need me to help them with."

"That's all?" asked Leo in an amused sort of annoyed tone.

"Is that all? They are obsessed with me and if I go to them then they'll try to keep me with them until I proclaim that I love them and want to marry them *shudder*" said Link with some slight hysteria.

"It's ok Link, but you should go, it is your duty after all" said Saria sadly.

"……Ok *sigh*…. Hey why don't you come with me Saria?" Link suddenly said.

"Why?" asked Saria in amazement as Link never asked anyone to go with him and he still hadn't gotten Navi to leave him alone.

"Well maybe if the other girls see me with you then they'll give up" said Link with a grin.

"Ok, I'll go with you then. Just let me get some stuff" Saria said happily.

**Elsewhere in Hyrule**

Malon was doing her chores around the ranch as she thought about Link coming with great excitement (She's the excited one, not Link). "Oh Goddesses please let Link say he loves me" Malon wished with starry eyes.

At Hyrule Castle Zelda was also thinking about Link coming to visit. She was preparing to look her best when he came. "Please let Link fall in love with me when he comes around. You owe me a wish here goddesses" wished Zelda with all her might.

Ruto was sitting in her room in Zora's Domain thinking about Link non-stop. "Today's the day. Please let Link want me to marry because I'm going to marry him when he comes around" wished Ruto as she toyed with the idea's of all the happiness they could have as a couple.

(Ok there are a few points I want to make here. You may take Malon, Zelda or Ruto's sides because of the way they acted when making those wishes to the goddesses. In this story they think they love Link but it is only just an attraction to the hero type thing. Their true loves are still out there somewhere.)

**Up in the Heavens**

Yo Din, Nayru we got another three live ones in the wishing business" called Farore as she read three email messages. (It's rather convenient having email don'tcha think?)

"I'm not in the mood for this right now" said Din with a hint of rising anger.

"You haven't been happy since that cute author, what was his name? Oh yeah LinkHammer. Well you haven't been happy since he beat you at poker and you had to give him all your iced coffee" said Nayru.

"Don't remind me" said Din as a ball of fire started to form in her hands.

"Will you two quit it and just help me out here!!" yelled Farore.

"Ok quit your yellin" said Din.

"There was no need for you to yell at us" said Nayru.

"Grrrrrrrrrr"

"Anyway who wants these wishes and why should we give them to them?" said Din.

"Ok the first one is from Malon the Ranch girl" said Farore.

"She thinks she's in love with Link and wants us to make him love her back. I thought we already did this with another girl?" said Nayru.

We shouldn't let her be delusional about this thing" said Din. "Ok let's send down a celestial lightning bolt to just show our displeasure. We don't need to hit her, just show her what we think."

"Lightning bolt loaded" called Farore.

"You forgot to say celestial" pointed out Nayru.

"Who cares?…… FIRE!!!!" yelled Din.

**Hyrule**

Down at LonLon Ranch a bolt of lightning struck near Malon scaring the living daylights out of her. She soon recovered and quickly thought about what had happened. "Hmm could the goddesses be displeased……. Nah. They obviously decided to show me their power to encourage me to pursue Link" and with a skip in her step Malon went back to work.

**The Heavens……… Again**

"Ok the next wish is from Zelda and she basically wants the same thing that the Ranch lass wanted" said Farore.

"Hmm she says we owe her a wish. We owed the Hero of Time a wish so maybe we owe her one too" said Nayru thoughtfully.

"That is bul*beep*" said Din. "All she did was order the Hero of Time around and then cast a spell or two. The selfish little brat needs to be zapped… Hey that rhymed."

"Celestial Lightning Bolt number 2 loaded!!" yelled Farore.

"Are we sure this is the right idea?" asked Nayru.

"Who cares…. FIRE!!!" yelled Din

**Hyrule…… Ok This Location Message Is Starting To Annoy Me**

*ZAP*

Zelda was flat out on the floor, smoking quite heavily (not a cigarette or anything) as Impa rushed in and took her straight to the royal doctor. When she finally recovered Zelda thought over the events. "The goddesses must have wanted me to have more power by sending me theirs in a lightning bolt. So I need to use power to win Link's love."

**Back In The Heavens……… Ok I'm Going To Destroy This Message**

"Two down one to go" laughed Din.

"Ok the third is Princess Ruto and she wants Link to love her when she makes him marry her today" said Farore.

"Ok, I'm not generally a violent goddess but she needs a zapping" said Nayru in a matter-of-fact tone of voice.

"YAY you finally understand….. Load another celestial lightning bolt" Said Din.

"Problem, we're fresh out" said Farore.

"How is that possible?" asked Din.

"You used all but those two we used when you lost to LinkHammer…. *sigh* Soooo dreamy" said Nayru.

"Strange how Nayru's been acting since he came" said Farore.

"Yeah…. Is there anything we can use to get the Zora Princess?" said Din.

"I got a rock" said Farore.

"Good enough!! Load annnnnnnnnnnnnnd FIRE!!!" yelled Din.

"Fired…… Wait these co-ordinates changed, someone tampered with my computer!!" yelled Farore.

"Who can do that?" said Nayru.

"Hi" I said as I step out of the shadows. "Sorry but there was a problem I needed to take care of down there."

"It's him!!! *fangirl scream*" cried an ecstatic Nayru jumping up and down in excitement.

"What's wrong with her?" I asked.

"We are trying to figure that out" replied Farore.

Din could hold in her rage no-longer.

"YOU!!!!" she screamed in anger and grabbed me by the scruff of the neck. "I'm going to get you back for beating me in poker" she whispered dangerously in my ear. And with that she loaded me in the missile silo and fired me at the last co-ordinates.

**Down in Hyrule…… AARRGGH I'm being Destroyed…. Beep… Beep**

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH *thump* ……….. ow"

"Is that the author? asked Saria as she stood with Link looking at the sight.

"Yeah but how did he fall from the sky?" asked Link.

"Probably the same way that the strange rock that knocked Navi unconscious did" replied Leo as he held his beloved blue fairy girlfriend.

A beam of red, green and blue shot down from the sky and turned into three figures of women.

"LinkHammer I take away the ability for you to disappear into your world for the rest of this adventure. You're part of the story now" said the fiery red one with a smirk.

"Why'd you shoot him down here and take his powers?" asked the green one.

"Because I wanted to" was the red ones reply.

"Noooooo, what did you do to him" cried the blue one.

"He'll be fine now lets go" said the red one and the beams of light shot back into the heavens.

"Well I guess we should take him and Navi into the Zelda Chat Room to recover" said Link.

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Well what did ya think of that one? A whole heap of brand new ideas are coming forth and must be used to create even more randomness. Everyone seems to have some problem in this story, and what the heck is with the goddess Nayru? Well I guess you'll just have to review and wait until the next story type chapter comes forth. (Damn the 'Great' Deku Tree and his wierd talking. It's starting to rub off on me now)


	12. Crazy Goddess and the meaning of my Name

I don't own The Legend of Zelda.... ok I hate saying it again but that won't stop me writing more chapters. This is the longest non-story content chapter that I have made so far and I think it was rather good to make. Onwards to the story.

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**Me: Ugh my head hurts……. Wait why am I in here as a character?**

**Link: This red chick from the heavens shot you down here and took away most of your authorian powers.**

**Me: Damn you Din…… What does this mean for me?**

**Saria: It mean's you're stuck as a character and can't get home until the adventure's over.**

**Me: Awww Man. It can't get worse can it.**

**Navi: He's awake now.**

**Me: AAAAAHHHHHH get it away from me.**

**Navi: Don't worry I'm pitying you for now because it seems that Din wanted to hurt me too.**

**Me: Um……. Yeah of course that was her plan.**

**Leo: Why do they call you LinkHammer?**

**Me: Well I'm a big fan of Link of course so that's the first part of the name.**

**Saria: And the other?**

**Me: Well that's because of this big hammer I got right here (pulls outbig two handed hammer)**

**Navi: Can I hold it?**

**Me: Yeah ok.**

**Navi: YAY (takes hammer and starts flying around hitting things with it.**

**Leo: Wait for me Navi.**

**Suddenly a blue light beams into the room and Nayru appears.**

**Nayru: Hi.**

**Link: Who are you?**

**Nayru: I'm the goddess Nayru.**

**Saria: Pleased to meet you.**

**Nayru: Likewise**

**Link: What brings you here?**

**Nayru: Oh I just need to tell LinkHammer *sigh* something.**

**Me: What do you need to tell me?**

**Nayru: I lo… oh that's a different message for later when I can speak to you in private *wink***

**Me: Ummm……**

**Nayru: Well I'm trying to convince Din to give you your powers back but she's refusing so I guess you have to go along with the adventure.**

**Me: Damn.**

**Nayru: Well she's giving some slight power back so you can make some more randomness.**

**Me: WOOHOO!!**

**Saria: Why'd this happen in the first place.**

**Nayru: Well Hammer Boy beat Din in a game of poker and took her supply of iced coffee.**

**Link: Wait a second. Hammer Boy?**

**Nayru: It's my pet… I mean nickname for LinkHammer.**

**Link: Oookay**

**Nayru: Well anyway we were zapping some people who deserved it and we ran out of lightning bolts so we had to use a rock instead.**

**Navi: (stops flying around and comes closer) wait did you say rock?**

**Nayru: Yep. Well anyway we fired the rock when Farore found that the co-ordinates had been changed by someone and that someone was Hammer Boy. (Navi's eye starts to twitch) Anyway when we find out Din goes into a rage not because of the whole shooting thing but because she wanted revenge for the poker incident. So she shoots him down where the last co-ordinates were set (Navi's starts having smoke coming out of her ears) and you know the rest.**

**Me: Ok.**

**Nayru: I gotta go now so bye *blows kiss in my direction with a smile on her face***

**The blue light zooms back to the heavens.**

**Navi: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU LINKHAMMER FOR MAKING THE ROCK HIT ME ON PURPOSE.**

**Me: AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! That's my hammer you're using to try and hit me with!!! (told ya I'd get Navi a new weapon).**

**Navi: It's mine now.**

**Me: No it's *WHACK*……….. it's yours for now *thump***

**Saria: Great now he's unconscious and this further delays the story.**

**_____________________________________________________________________________**

Ok Nayru's really freaking me out here. Who would have thought a goddess............ Argh I can't think with my head this sore, curse you Navi!! I can't believe she stole my hammer, but I'll get it back or my name isn't Hammer Boy......... um, I mean LinkHammer!!!! (That nickname's too catchy. Did the goddess mean when she said pet first....) Well I need reviews and lots of them so you know what to do. Unfortunately I don't know what to do without my powers so we'll just have to see how random I can be with the remaining powers.

This is LinkHammer, signing out.


	13. Link and His Stupid Bet

hello hello hello. Once again you get to read another chapter of the wild, wacky and completely random adventures of the Zelda characters and myself in the continued storyline of '**Link's Valentines Day**'!!

I don't own the legend of Zelda. Well now that is all said and done, there is only one thing left to do.... read the story.

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"Isn't this just a lovely and peaceful day for walk through Hyrule Field Link?" said Saria while walking along with a smile on her face.

"Yeah, in fact I'd say it's made even more beautiful by the fact that you are here" said Link with a grin.

"Oh you charmer" said Saria with a giggle and a blush.

"This day sucks" groaned a depressed author looking a lot like me……. Ok we know it really is me thanks to that blasted goddess Din. "I swear that as soon as I get my power back I am going to do something to pay her back."

"Shut-up and keep moving or you get the hammer in the head again" growled Navi as she flew behind me with the mentioned hammer raised in a threatening manner.

"Can't you just leave me alone Navi? It's bad enough that I'm banished down here for a while but now you have to steal my precious hammer" I muttered.

"It can't be that bad can it?" asked Leo.

"You fairies just don't understand, it's like taking away your ability to fly or a horse's ability to gallop. It takes away something that is special to you."

"Wow that was really good…… can I use that sentence?" said Leo.

*exasperated sigh*

"I'll take that as a no"

"That was really mean to not let my boyfriend use that sentence and as such it's Hammer Time!!!" yelled Navi.

"Whatever……….*WHACK*………*sigh* even that doesn't get me working anymore." I said.

"Ok you really need help" said Navi.

"Nothing will be able to change my current emotions from depression…… nothing at all" I replied.

From the skies fell a green light that landed in front of us five adventurers. Farore emerged from this green light and walked towards us.

"What do you need us for great goddess?" asked Link as he bowed respectfully.

"Well it's something to do with my sister Nayru" replied Farore.

"So tell me about it" said Link with a grin.

"This is girl business" replied Farore.

"Tell me instead then" said Saria stepping in between Link and the goddess.

"Come over here then" said Farore beckoning to a nearby tree.

"I'm a girl too so you can tell me as well" exclaimed Navi as she flew over to the tree.

"Fine well the thing is…….." began Farore.

**Meanwhile Over With Us Guys………**

"I wonder what they are talking about right now?" said Link looking at the three girls.

"I think it'll probably be about us guys. That's what you can expect when it's girl business" replied Leo.

"Probably" said Link.

"Hey what do you think their doing LinkHammer?" Leo suddenly asked.

"What does it matter what I think? It's not like this is going to involve me in any possible way" I replied.

**Back To The Girls**

"What? Are you saying that Nayru is…is…man this is confusing" said Navi.

"And this is all with him?" said Saria pointing back towards the unfortunate author.

"Yeah well that about sums it up" replied Farore.

"I can't see this going well" said Navi shaking her head.

"Yeah well if you could just nudge him in the right direction because there is no way that Nayru's giving up on him" said Farore.

"Because you granted me a wish I'll try and help you with this problem" said Saria with a friendly smile.

"Thanks, well I really gotta go now before Din goes on a rampage looking for me" said Farore before flying back to the heavens.

Saria and Navi walked (well Navi flew but you get the picture) back towards us mob of guys.

"So what did the goddess want?" asked Link.

"Nothing that concerns you for now Link" said Saria coming up and giving her beloved a kiss on the check resulting in a blush spreading across his face.

"Do I get one too?" Leo asked Navi.

"Sure" said Navi going and giving Leo a kiss on the cheek as well. "Huh, I thought I put the hammer down right there when I went to give you a kiss Leo."

"YEAH!! I got my hammer back" yelled the now ecstatic me.

"Give it back here!!!" yelled Navi.

"No, I'm finally not depressed and so you're not taking it back!!!" I yelled back.

A tug of war started between me and Navi over the hammer. Link and Saria watched this while Leo cheered Navi on.

"YAY go Navi, show your fury!!" Leo yelled.

"This is going to go on for a long time" said Saria with a frown.

"Yeah, well lets continue on to Lon Lon Ranch. The others can fight along the way" said Link before he and Saria started walking towards the Ranch, hand in hand.

**At the Ranch**

"Link should be here by now" said Malon with worry. "Maybe he's gone to kill a monster to prove his love for me…. Yeah that sounds like something he'd do for me seeing as he's already had to do it for that stuck up Zelda and that brat Ruto"

"Hi Malon, I'm here now so what did you want to tell me?" Link called to the farm girl as he entered to horse corral where Malon had been standing.

"Link it's you!!!! *fangirl scream*" screamed Malon.

"Psst. Hey LinkHammer why is it that women always seem to do that weird scream when I turn up?" Link whispered.

"I don't know but that crazy blue haired goddess did the same thing when I was around" I replied.

"You two are both idiots. Don't you know that means they really, really like you?" said Leo as he butted in on the conversation.

"Yeah right" said Link with a scoff.

Meanwhile Malon was rushing towards Link when she saw Saria. Pure jealosy started to consume the red haired farm girl as she saw this girl who had the right to call herself Link's best friend.

"What's Saria doing here Link" Malon asked sweetly.

"I am here because Link asked me to come with him" said Saria putting great emphasis on the word 'I'.

"But Link never takes me with him on adventures" said Malon with a huff.

"That's because I've never really had the time to do that" said Link.

"Oh and I suppose you do now" Malon asked angrily.

"Ummm…… why are you acting all upset lately Malon" asked Link.

"Well first you completely ignore me and run away on Valentine's Day and now you are taking someone on an adventure with you for the first time and it's not me."

"Well…. Uh I guess I'm sorry" said Link with a bit of uncertainty.

"Anyway now that you're here I want to make a bet with you" said Malon with an evil glint in her eyes.

"Sure I'll take a bet" said Link quickly shaking Malon's hand in agreement.

"Good you have to beat me in a horse race" said Malon.

"Easy, what happens if I win?"

"You can take the horse you race on."

"And if I lose?"

"You have to marry me"

"WHAAAAAAAT!!!?"

"There's no getting out of it now Link" said Malon with a smug grin.

"What do you mean? This is just a stupid bet, I don't have to marry you if I lose" said Link.

"Oh yes you do" said Ingo as he stepped from the shadows. "Mr. Ingo attorney at law. You officially agreed to the bet with the customary handshake binding you in a solid legal agreement. As such, if you lose you shall have to carry out the agreed actions or risk going to court. In this race everything is allowed including outside interference. There shall be two laps."

"Awww Man!"

Link called Epona using Epona's song and the young horse ran over ready to race. Malon called over a sleek black stallion that looked like it could run a million miles with ease. The contestants edged their horses to the edge of the starting / finishing line.

"I wonder how long this is going to take?" said Leo.

"I hope that Link wins" said Saria as she looked at her love on the young orangey brown mare with the white mane.

"Give me the hammer!!" yelled Navi.

"Never!!!" I yelled back and another tug of war began.

Ingo stepped up to the space in between Link and Malon and prepared to start the race.

"3, 2, 1……. RACE!!!" He bellowed at the top of his lungs.

Link and Epona suddenly pushed forward in a great starting speed while Malon started a second later with a bit less speed. However, Malon had paid Ingo well and as such the ranch hand suddenly through a bag of fine dust into the air in front of Link. The dust gushed out in a cloud, blinding Link and Epona and slowing them down while making them uncertain of where they were going. Malon overtook the two and was half way through the first lap with Link and Epona just behind her. Ingo then threw a small stone in the way of Epona making her rear up and costing Link many valuable seconds. Malon completed the first lap and was a quarter of the way through the second lap when Link finally completed his first lap. Ingo had set up some fences along Link's part of the track by this time and these were costing to much valuable time.

"He'll never win now and I'll lose the only guy I've ever truly loved because of that *beeeeeep* Malon's cheating" said Saria as she started to cry in despair.

Malon was almost at the finish line, laughing in sureness of victory when…….

**CLIFFHANGER!!!!!! HA HA HA.**

Nah just fooling around with you… So where was I? Oh yes.

Malon was almost at the finish line, laughing in sureness of victory when…….

"Fine take your stupid Hammer!!" yelled Navi suddenly releasing her end off the mentioned weapon.

"AAAAHHHHH" I screamed as I fell over backwards and released the hammer to go flying through the air due to the sudden release of the opposing force keeping me upright (basic physics or whatever it is).

*WHACK*

And the winner is Malon!!" yelled Ingo.

"No wait!!" yelled Leo. "Only her horse crossed the line. She's still lying unconscious on the ground where she was knocked off the horse by that flying hammer."

Link and Epona both crossed the finishing line with a yell of victory (Epona's was more like a sort of whinny, but I'm sure that if we could understand what she said then it would sound something like "YEAH I'm the fastest. Hey loser horse, BOOHOO SUCKS TO YOU!")

"Link wins!!!" screamed an ecstatic Saria as she ran up and hugged her love.

"What!!? How is that possible?" sputtered Ingo. "That Hammer made the race unfair and seeing as it was Link's companions who threw it Link shall be disqualified thus making Malon the winner who shall pay a great sum of money for helping her."

"But you said…" Leo started before he was cut off by Ingo.

"I am the only licensed lawyer around here and as such I shall see you in court for this matter. You better pray to the goddesses if you want a chance to win" and with that Ingo went off laughing about how much money he would make out of this.

"How can we win against him? Ingo's the only lawyer around for miles… Link's doomed!!" yelled Leo in frustration.

"Well I guess I'd better pray to the goddesses like he said" said Link with a sigh.

Saria and Navi both looked at each other and a light bulb appeared above their heads.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1" said Navi.

"I think I am B2" replied Saria with a grin.

"It's Hammer Boy charming the goddess time" they both said at the same time.

For some reason the light bulbs stayed around their heads and Leo almost died of fright when he saw it above Saria.

"Saria how could you just get another fairy like that? And Navi since when do fairies get other fairies?" said Leo with anger.

"Uh Leo…. Those things are light bulbs, see no wings" I whispered into the slow fairy's ear.

"Oh….. Sorry" Leo mumbled.

"Well Link seems to be doomed so I'll just be going now" I said and started to walk away.

"Hold it right there!!!" yelled a hammer wielding, annoying blue fairy girl.

"Oh you're returning my hammer to me Navi, thanks" I said reaching out to retrieve the weapon.

*WHACK*

"Ow what was that for?"

"You better start praying to the goddesses to help Link out with this problem, LinkHammer" said Saria with a stern look on her face.

"Yeah, you should probably try the goddess Nayru as your main target with this prayer, Hammer Boy" said Navi with a snicker.

"Fine…… but I better get my hammer back as soon as I finish with the prayer"

"Sure, just do the prayer" said Navi.

"Ok here it goes…… Yo, almighty goddesses we got a slight problem down here on the ground that could greatly affect Hyrule for all we know. And…… huh what's that you saying Navi…. I don't want to say that…… you're absolutely sure it'll work? Fine……. Back to where I was with this prayer apparently I would really like to see you all again especially…. You sure I should say that Navi? *Navi nods her head*. Well apparently I would especially like to see Nayru again for some obscure reason that I've been denied the information about because it's a girl thing." I finished with the longest speaking sentence in the game.

For a few minutes nothing happened and I just shook my head, grabbed my hammer and started to walk away muttering to myself about how doomed Link is at this moment in time. As such I didn't see the three beams of light speeding towards the earth. The red light landed next to Link and transformed into the figure of the goddess Din. The green light landed next to Saria and transformed into the figure of the goddess Farore…… The last light collided with the back of the unsuspecting author knocking him over and leaving him face first in the ground with a joyously squealing figure of the goddess Nayru.

"You called?" said Din raising an eyebrow.

"This should be something interesting" said Farore with a smile.

"Oh I just knew you wanted to see me Hammer Boy!!" beamed Nayru.

"……………… ow"

Need I say more?

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Well that chapter took some time to write. I would really love some reviews from people. If not a review then some cookies and an iced coffee will do instead.

I'd just like to mention a good story that has come into existance. This story is titled 'Ocarina of Stupidity' and is written by a good reviewer of mine, DarthRevanShepard. So because she has been kind towards my story I'll be just as kind and point you towards it. So R&R because I like reading that story and the more reviews she recieves, the quicker she can post more chapters which makes me happy enabling me to do the same. YAY!!!


	14. More Randomness in the Zelda Chat Room

Well once more I don't own the Legend of Zelda. I never thought this story would turn into the 14 chapter thing it is now. Well I owe that to everyone who's cheered me on throughout the creation of it.

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**Link: Hey Navi, LinkHammer come over here for a minute.**

**N & LH: Yeah what do you want?**

**Link: Just wanted to say thanks for knocking Malon out with the Hammer.**

**Malon: What!!? You're actually thanking them for hurting me?**

**Navi: Yeah he is actually.**

**Malon: *grabs pitchfork* come here and say that to my face, bug!!**

**Navi: May I LinkHammer?**

**Me: Sure *hands her hammer*.**

**Navi: BRING IT ON FARM BRAT!!!!**

**Malon: YAAAARRRRRHHHH**

***WHACK***

**Malon:……………… look at all the pretty Link angels spinning around my head.**

**Navi: Oops, might have hit her too hard.**

**Me: Ya think? Gee I'm Navi the fairy who only points out the most bloody obvious things consistently in an extremely annoying manner. You'd think that the Great D-Tree would create a fairy with brains, right?**

**Navi: You forgot to mention I still have the hammer.**

**Me: ……damn. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH *runs off with fairy in hot pursuit***

**Zelda: When am I getting back in the story? It's getting to be annoying.**

**Ruto: The real question is when am 'I' getting back in the story? I must be more important than you because the goddesses didn't hit me because of my wish.**

**Farore: I knew we were forgetting something.**

**Din: That selfish little brat is going to get it…. Who has something to shoot her with from our awesome godly canon?**

**Me: *whilst running past with a grin on his face* there isn't anything to use until a while more when we get to Ruto in Hyrule so just wait it out.**

**Din: That son of a *BEEP*…. That's it I think I'll join Navi in her chase.**

**The goddess ran off with and started firing fireballs and the now zigzagging author.**

**Nayru: Isn't he just so handsome while he runs? *love sigh***

**Farore: ummm…… I guess so.**

**Nayru: You're not after him to are you?**

**Farore: I'd never steal him from you especially seeing as even Din flinched when you ordered us straight down her after you heard his prayer.**

**Nayru: You're such an understanding sister.**

**Saria: How's the love thing going?**

**Nayru: Good… how about you and Link?**

**Saria: He's so wonderful…… I almost want to marry him…**

**Me: *run past them again* I'll tell Link that when I finally escape these other two.**

**Saria: You wouldn't dare? *I grin* That's it…… I'll just have to get you too.**

**Me: AAAAAAHHHHHHH.**

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Must get reviews..... losing power to write....... send me my precious reviews.

The dramatics aint gonna get me anywhere now then are they? Well I hope you guys and girls do review. Here's hoping that the next chapter can be up and running soon.

Cya


	15. Pizza's in the Court Room

*Step out of the shadows* Greetings and welcome to another exciting chapter in the story. I've decided that today I'll let Navi do the disclaimer.

**Navi: **Hi. LinkHammer does not own the Legend of Zelda nor is it likely he ever will....... Was I good?

**Me: **Perfect...... and here folks, we have another example of Navi spouting off some random useless piece of information that we already knew but she decided that we didn't and kept repearting it endlessly........ I got you good there Navi....... errr, Navi can you get away from me with the large blunt instrument shaped like my hammer *WHACK*........ Whaaat!? I can get hurt before the story even starts.... what's up with that.

ENJOY!!!!!

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Everyone looked at the three goddesses except for the author; his face or should I say my face, was firmly implanted into the ground thanks to Nayru sitting on my back.

"What are you three strangers doing here?" said a gaping Ingo.

"Greetings, my name is Farore, fully qualified and certified attorney at law" said a smiling Farore as she held out her hand to the stunned Ingo.

"Whaaaaat!!? I'm the only lawyer around here" sputtered Ingo in rage.

"Not anymore" Farore curtly replied (ooooh he got burnt).

"Ok it's time to get this court in order" said Din, suddenly summoning an entire court room with a wave of her hand.

"Say what?" said Leo.

"What…… You happy now because if you aren't I'll burst you into a million particles of dust" said Din.

Leo just nodded his head and backed away.

"Anyway this court session is now in order" said Din.

"What do you mean?" said Ingo.

"I am judge Din. As you already know that is Farore *points finger* who'll be representing the defendant Link. You of course are representing the prosecutor Malon who is still unconscious. The jury shall be made up of Nayru, JGRDL *materializes in the juries box*, LinkHammer and DarthRevanShepard *who does the same thing as JGRDL*.

"Hey how u going JGRDL?" I said shaking his hand.

"Not bad, not bad at all" he replied.

"That's good, and how bout you DarthRevanShepard?"

"I've been well ever since I started trying to destroy Navi" *grin* she replied.

"Glad to hear it and…… um I don't think I should ask Nayru anything. Now where will I sit?......oh no" I said while looking around for my seat.

There was only one spot left and you guessed it…… right next Nayru.

"Sit here Hammer Boy……pweeeeaaaase" said Nayru making her cutest puppy dog eyes.

"Um…… well there's nowhere else to sit so I guess I'll have to."

"YAY! I just knew you'd want to" squealed Nayru with great joy.

JGRDL and DarthRevanShepard just looked at the ecstatic goddess.

"I feel sorry for LinkHammer" said DarthRevanShepard.

"Why?" JGRDL replied.

"…… because this obsessive goddess will never stop trying to get him to love her like Malon, Ruto and Zelda have been trying to do with Link" said DRS (It gets a bit tiring writing out the whole name every second sentence, so I'll shorten it to DRS just for this chapter…. Tell me if there is a shorter version you'd like me to call you or if you want the full name).

"So?" replied JGRDL.

"Men!" said DRS with an exasperated sigh.

"So Hammer Boy, what do you think of my dress?" asked Nayru with a shy voice.

"Um……. It looks good….. Is that an acceptable compliment or does it insult you because I don't want to say something nice and then be yelled at for not saying the right thing" I replied.

"Of course it's a good answer. Anything that you say is always perfect" giggled Nayru.

"Ok….. So who has any idea how long this thing is going to take because I'm getting hungry" I said.

"Same here, they could have given us some notification about the whole thing" replied JGRDL.

"I'll go with you guys and get something if you guys are actually going to get something to eat" said DRS.

"No you won't you stealerer" huffed Nayru.

"Huh?" said DRS.

"I know your trying to steal Hammer Boy from me. First you hug him and then you want to go get something to eat with him! You are going to pay" Nayru said furiously.

"It was just a hug and there is nothing wrong with eating when you're hungry!!" DRS yelled back. Of course the argument between the two continued to escalate whilst everyone else in the court room waited for Malon to regain consciousness so that the trial could start.

"This is going to take some time" said JGRDL.

"Yeah…. Well I'm going to get a pizza down the road, it's not like anyone will notice I'm gone if I place this convenient cardboard cut-out of myself here" I said.

"I'm coming with you" said JGRDL placing another convenient cardboard cut-out of himself in his spot.

**10 Minutes Later**

Malon finally woke up and once she was told the situation the court case started.

"This hereby starts the trial of Link vs. Malon!" Din loudly proclaimed from her high judge's seat. "Miss Farore, I ask you to explain the case of the defendant, Mr. Link."

"Thank you your honour. My client accepted a bet placed by the prosecutor which stated that if my client won a horse race, he would keep the horse and be allowed to leave. My client won the race and has been denied the prize that was stated in the bet and firmly sealed in a binding and completely legal agreement" said Farore.

"And what about you Mr. Ingo?" asked Din.

"Well my client was about to win the race when a hammer thrown by the members of Mr. Link's group knocked her off her horse and unconscious which resulted in Mr. Link winning the race unfairly while she was rendered unable to move and thus claim her rightful place as the winner." said Ingo.

After this all the complicated terms and other random things were said and pointed out until Link was called to the stand. Then the whole do _'you swear to tell the truth and nothing but the truth'_ stuff was said and done.

"Now then Mr. Link, is it true that Mr. Ingo stated that outside interferences were to be allowed during the event of the race?" asked Farore.

"That is true" replied Link.

"And is it also true that during the race you were consistently hindered by obstacles and interferences made and carried out by Mr. Ingo?" asked Farore.

"That is also true" said Link nodding his head in agreement.

"I object to that statement!!" Ingo loudly proclaimed.

"ORDER IN THE COURT!!!" yelled Din banging the hammer loudly on the table. "I've always wanted to do that."

"I'd like to call forth witnesses to speak on the behalf of my client" said Farore.

"That is fine" said Din.

"My first witness is Miss Saria" said Farore.

The whole truth thing was done again and then the questions started to be asked.

"Saria, did you hear Mr. Ingo state that outside interferences were to be allowed during the events in the race?" asked Farore.

"That is true" said Saria.

"And did you see Mr. Ingo interfere with Link during the course of the race?"

"Yes I did."

This whole process was repeated with Navi and Leo and then Ingo tried to do his best at winning the case. To put it simply, he failed miserably. All of this took….

**10 Minutes Later…… damn this message thing beat me again.**

"Ah that was the best pizza I've had in ages" I said.

"Yeah and it looks like we got back just in time for the juries verdict" said JGRDL.

"How is it that everyone always seems get to wherever they're supposed to be, just on time?" I said.

"Beats me" JGRDL replied.

"And so I say that you are an over possessive *BEEP* who needs to get down from your high and mighty pedestal and start looking at the real facts and not just some random jealousy mood that you have!!" shouted DarthRevanShepard.

"Yeah and I think you're a *blah, blah, blah… this stuff is not allowed to be said on a T rated story… blah, blah, blah man she sure can talk*!!!!" shouted Nayru.

"Have you two been arguing this whole time?" I said.

"YES!" they both yelled back.

"Ok……."

"Now that everything has been said, what is the jury's decision?" said Din.

"We the jury somehow managed to understand everything that was said even though we were obviously ignoring everything and as such we find that Malon and Link are innocent and that this is all the fault of Mr. Ingo" I said over the noise of the two fighting girls in the jury box while a shocked JGRDL wondered whether or not it would be a wise idea to go back and hide behind another few giant pizzas.

"Fine. Mr. Link, you are hereby allowed to take the horse Epona as your rightful prize. Mr. Ingo, you shall pay the sum of 500 rupees to Link for the false accusations stated against him and the time he lost while going through this useless trial" said Din.

All throughout this entire long episode, Malon had been sitting in a daze staring at Link in a rather disturbing manner. DarthRevanShepard and JGRDL both went back to their own little worlds (it hurts that I can't go back to mine yet) but not before JGRDL had bought a few more pizzas and DarthRevanShepard shot Navi with a tranquiliser gun, flamethrower and grenade launcher (I decided that something mean needed to happen to Navi and DRS really likes doing that).

**An Hour Later in Hyrule Field because I can't be bothered describing the events that happened immediately after the court case finished……**

"So what are you going to do with the money Link?" asked Saria.

"Well I've decided that I'm going to take all of you out for lunch" Link replied with a large grin.

"Oh that's so sweet of you" said Saria giving Link a quick hug and a kiss on the cheek.

"It's nothing really" said Link with a large blush.

"Of course it is Link" said Navi.

"Just listen to what Navi says Link, of course it's a big deal taking everyone out for lunch" said Leo.

"Yeah it's like one of the ultimate signs of true friendship" Navi piped in again.

"Are you sure?" said Link.

"Who cares about this whole big matter thing? I don't care as long as there is food involved" I said in an annoyed tone of voice.

Everyone just looked at me.

"What? It was just annoying me how you all had to look at a simple thing with all this deep philosophy stuff" I said.

"Whatever…. Anyway where are you taking us for lunch?" asked Saria.

"Well there's this new place I heard of in Hyrule Market and I thought we might as well go there seeing as we have to talk to Zelda next" said Link.

At that exact moment a Zora guard leapt out of the water and grabbed Link.

"Huh what are you doing!!? Link yelled.

"Princess Ruto has demanded that you be taken to her immediately" said the Zora before dragging Link away towards Zora's Domain.

"I can't stop him without my cricket bat" sobbed Navi.

"We can't do anything to help him, I've lost him forever" cried Saria.

"He's doomed" groaned Leo.

The Zora guard had almost escaped with Link when… *WHACK*.

"Huh what happened" said Link as he released himself from the now unconscious Zora's grasp.

A familiar hammer landed right next to him.

"Let this be a lesson to everyone and everything in the world" I said. "Not even a stuck up princess's orders will come between me and a free meal."

"You must really like your food" said Leo.

"A free meal is never too good to pass up. That or an iced coffee" I replied.

"Well in that case, we should go" said Link.

20 minutes later in Hyrule Market

**20 minutes later in Hyrule Market…… Ha, I beat it for once…**

"There it is…… Sui Tong's Noodle House" said Link.

"Yeah, I haven't eaten Chinese in ages" I said.

"I hope the food's good" said Leo.

We all went inside and were shown to our table. After a small while we all ordered our food.

"This place doesn't seem too bad" said Saria whilst looking around.

"Yeah but I don't like the way that the chef keeps looking at me as if I'm some sort of ingredient."

"Don't worry about it Navi, you'd probably taste terrible anyway" a said with a grin.

Of course at that exact moment a familiar cricket bat walked into the room and placed itself next to Navi in a rather convenient manner (It's back).

"LinkHammer you are so going to be hurt as soon as we get out of here because I'm not allowed to hurt you in public places like this noodle house. So you just watch yourself because as soon as we get out of here you are going to be in so much pain that….

**10 Minutes Later**

…… and then I'm going to……

**Another 10 Minutes…… Is that food coming yet?**

"…… So just watch out!!!" Navi finished with her tirade.

Everyone just looked at her for a short amount of time before the food arrived.

"YAY food's here!!" shouted Link with glee.

"Where are the knives and forks to eat it with?" asked Saria.

"Yeah, how are we supposed to eat with this pair of sticks?" said Leo.

"The nerve of the people here" said Navi.

"Have you two eaten like this before?" asked Saria.

"Not in a long time" I said.

"Never at all" said Link.

"Well could you guys try and help me with this anyway?" said Saria looking down at her bowl and then back up. "What?....."

It was the classic scene where the person has his or her mouth full of food and the bowl was half empty while the chopsticks were being used with a masterful skill.

"How did you guys do that? A second ago you didn't even know how to use these things" said Navi in shock as Leo just sort of acted like a statue and Saria still gaped at me and Link.

"Well if I want to eat I have to be able to move the food into my mouth, and I'm incredibly hungry" said Link.

"As such when there is food involved we generally perfect the way to eat it in a matter of moments so that we can fulfil our hunger. What can I say, we're growing lads" I said.

Everyone just looked at Link and me.

"What" we both said.

What's the problem with these people……………

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**Me: **Well I hope I've kept everyone satisfied with that chapter, I know I was...... oh and Link

**Link: **Yeah?

**Me: **Some random dude says hi.

Well you should all know the deal by now unless you suffer from memory loss due to Navi hitting you on the head with blunt instruments........ What was I saying again?

Well, review the story and wait in agonizing suspense as I plot the next event of this exciting new day in Hyrule.........


	16. Exercise is Good For You

I've got even more randomness coming around in the Zelda Chat Room this time. I don't own the Legend of Zelda and Navi says I'm a complete idiot. I probably deserve that........... Welll what are you reading this useless part of information for? There's a particualy good thing happening down the page.......

I swear you people don't listen to a word I say........ you musn't if you are reading this sentence.

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**Announcer: Hi everyone and welcome back to the Zelda Chat Room!!**

**Link: Who's this guy?"**

**Announcer: I will be commentating for the time you spend here.**

**Navi: I hate these kind of people!!**

**Announcer: And Navi has just decided to throw a small temper tantrum.**

**Navi:…… That's it I'll kill him!!!**

**Announcer: And Navi picks up a cricket bat and starts flying towards me with incredible speed. She raises the bat and… *WHACK, BAM, CRACK, WHACK*………**

**Saria: You killed him……… great job!!!!!**

**Leo: Let's hear it for Navi!!! Hip Hip…**

**Everyone: HOORAY!!!!!!!!!!**

**Me: Hmmm…… ok I'll just say that he was destroyed by the evil Ganon… yeah that should make this fit into the T-rating a bit more.**

**Link: What are ya talking about there?**

**Me: Author stuff, you wouldn't understand.**

**Link: Oh……**

**Zelda: Hey Malon I heard your brilliant plan failed.**

**Ruto: Yeah, you lost your horse you loser. No wonder Link doesn't love you.**

**Malon: Shut up fish girl!!! At least my top trained guard sent to capture Link wasn't completely KO'd by a single hit.**

**Zelda: You have a guard as well?**

**Malon: No I was referring to fish girl's guard.**

**Zelda: Oh……… well my guard is indestructible. Nothing can stop her!!**

**Me: Really?**

**ZM&R: Eeeeeeekkkkk!!! Don't sneak up on us like that!!.**

**Me: Sorry…**

**Ruto: Who is your guard anyway?**

**Zelda: Impa.**

**Saria: The scary looking Sheikah woman?**

**Zelda: Yep.**

**Me: Well I'll just have to find Impa's weakness and exploit it in the next chapter.**

**Impa: *steps out of shadows* No you will not.**

**Me: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH *runs away*.**

**Impa: Get back here.**

**Me: Help Navi!!!**

**Navi: How?**

**Me: You're a light bulb and she's the shadow sage!! Light destroys shadow so shine on her!!**

**Navi: I'm going to kill you for calling me a light bulb.**

**Me: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH**

**Leo: He really has a way with women.**

**Link: Yep.**

**Saria: Well I won't chase him this time *I run past and stick tongue out at her* ……… I lied, GET BACK HERE!!!!!**

**Malon: It was his hammer that hit me!! I'll kill him too!!!!**

**Zelda: He'll try and destroy my plans so I'll kill him before he can!!!!**

**Ruto: I'll do it because everyone else is and I have to do the popular thing, it's the pressure of being the best looking princess in the game.**

**Me: *runs past* YEAH RIGHT!!!.**

**Ruto: EXTERMINATE!!!!! (whoa, she's a Dalek. Thanks Doctor Who)**

**10 Minutes Later**

**Me: Phew I lost them when I hid inside this convenient little house, nothing can go wrong now.**

**Nayru: YOU FOUND ME!!! I knew you would know where I was because you love me!!!**

**Me: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH *runs back outside where everyone sees me and the chase starts again*.**

**At least I'm keeping fit……**

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Well there we go, the secret to keeping healthy and fit.......... well fit at the least. I don't think that people wanting to kill you is good for your health.

Please review and remember to check out everyone elses stories as well, especially if they have me in them..... Why else do they let you check each other's profiles from the review page?

If you don't like this story then I don't know why you're reading this because you probably should have stopped at the first chapter. Oh well whatever get's me more hits and reviews, right?


	17. Tomato! huh?

I don't own the Legend of Zelda and there's a whole lot of other things I don't own but now is not the time to talk about them. Well hiya gang!! Sorry bout not updating in a while but all this school and homework i've been getting is really starting to take my time. You know I think I might prefer to be in a room with a hyper Navi rather than do homework........ Nah, homework wins every time..... *WHACK* _blasted fairy._

Well i guess it's time for you to read this chapter, I guarantee that you will laugh at least once.......... you better laugh or I'll be sad and let Navi go on a rampage and destroy you....... mostly be sad though.

ENJOY!!!!!!

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"That was delicious" said Link as he sat back in his chair and rubbed his stomach.

"Absolutely correct" I said.

"Well it's good that you two were able to eat everything that you ordered because I was having trouble eating all of mine" said Saria with a smile.

"Where's Navi?" Link asked suddenly.

"She went into the kitchen to talk to the cook" said Leo.

"Why?" said Saria.

"He wanted to cook her and she took offence" replied Leo.

***BANG, CRASH, SCREAM***

"What was that?" said Saria.

Navi flew out of the kitchen and quickly ushered us out of the restaurant place, thingy……. whatever you want to call it.

"What did you do Navi?" asked Link while tapping his foot and looking stern.

"Well I kind of decided that the cook needed a rest for a few months so I……… uh sort of gave him some form of respite" replied Navi.

"SOMEONE HAS PUT THE COOK IN A COMA!!!!" yelled a kitchen hand from inside the place we just ate.

"…… *nervous laugh* ooops" said Navi with an innocent smile.

"…….. You idiot" I said whilst shaking my head.

"Well I gotta go see Zelda now so who wants to come with me?" said Link.

"Well I'm going to do some shopping, so I can't come" said Saria.

"I'm going shopping too" said Navi.

"I'll stay with the girls" said Leo with a shrug.

"Nice knowing you Leo" I said solemly.

"What do you mean?" asked Leo with a worried look on his face.

The answer was given to him when Navi spoke next.

"That's so wonderful Leo, you can carry all my shopping just like a gentleman. Now first I want some new shoes, then I'll have a………."

**10 Minutes Later**

"…….and that should cover the first half of my shopping list" finished Navi.

"Cya later Leo" I said as me and Link walked towards the castle when……

*BUMP*

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't see you there……….. Din?" I said helping the goddess to her feet.

"Watch where you're going!!" yelled the furious goddess.

"Now then Din, there's no reason to be angry" said Farore with a calm voice.

"Yeah Dinny. You should be nice to Hammer Boy" said Nayru.

"This can't be good" I muttered as started to take a few steps backwards.

"Well I still expect a better apology than sorry" huffed Din.

"I know, LinkHammer can help us with our shopping" said Farore with a great big smile.

"Yeah, he can carry all my stuff and we can be together for the whole day" said Nayru running up and grabbing the unfortunate author.

"Noooooooooo!!!!!!!" I cried.

Saria looked at Link with an evil grin and started to say "Link you know, seeing as all the other girls are getting help…"

"RUN FOR YOUR LIFE LINK!!! GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE YOU'RE DOOMED!!!!" I yelled.

And so Link ran towards Hyrule Castle as fast as he could only turning and blowing Saria a kiss before disappearing from sight.

"At least I managed to save one soul…*SLAP*……..ow what was that for!!" I said as Saria glared at me.

"Now I have to carry all my shopping and Link has gone to see some other girl. As punishment you can also carry my shopping.

"OH S**T!!!"

Meanwhile at** Hyrule Castle…… it cut me off? That's it!!!!**

"God those guards are easy to get past" said Link. "I hardly raised a sweat and what little sweat I did raise was due to the bleeding sun being so hot today."

Link slowly wandered around the castle courtyard when he noticed something.

"This place seems a bit more jazzed up than last time…… and where is Zelda?.......That's just typical, I get called here for some urgent business and the person who wanted me isn't here, SHEESH" Link muttered.

"Hi Linkypoo" said Zelda as she entered the courtyard.

"AAAAHHHH…… hoo boy, you startled me there" said Link.

"*giggle* you're so adorable when you do that……" said Zelda with a huge grin.

"Uh, ok…… So what do you want to tell me?" said Link.

"Well Link, by a new royal decree that I have made without my father's permission and no legal authority which thus makes it useless, you as the Hero of Time must marry me" said Zelda with a wink.

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH" screamed Link. "You can't do that? There's no way I'm marrying anyone yet so you should just stop this right now."

"It's too late for that, you are going to marry me and Impa will make sure you don't escape.

Impa emerged from the shadows in that freaky Sheikah way that we will never understand. "Your wish is my command princess."

"What are you, some kind of Genie?" said Link.

"Watch it boy. You may be on the same side as me, you may be the Hero of Time and you may even have the princess love you, but no-one makes fun of me" Impa said in a low, deadly and downright wikid sounding voice.

*gulp* "Ok"

"Now I'll just go get dressed and call the priest. Impa take him to the tower so he won't escape in the meantime" said Zelda before skipping merrily through the door.

**In The Tower Room 10 Minutes Later**

"I'm so proud of her, getting married" said Impa wiping a tear from one of her eyes (whoa didn't see that one coming). "One moment you're raising them as a child and the next moment they're all grown up, in love and getting married…. *sniff*……… hey where'd you go!!."

*SMASH*

Impa turned around and saw one of the windows was broken and Link was no-where in sight.

"Damn it, the princess won't like this."

Link was falling, faster and faster towards the bushes below.

"Well if I'm going to die from this at least I don't have to marry Zelda…… but what about Saria?...... *THUMP, OOOF*"

**A Few Moments Later**

"Ugh my head" said Link as he sat up. "Wait, am I still alive? I must have landed on something soft, but what?......"

"That would be me" I said as I brushed all the dirt off my clothes and checked to see if anything was broken.

"LinkHammer, what are you doing here?" asked Link. "Not that I don't mind, I mean you probably saved my life just now" he added hurriedly.

"Well you see it's a bit of a short story" I said.

"Short story?" said Link with confusion on his face.

"What? You expect events that took about 10 - 15 minutes to be a long story… sheesh people expect so much from you these days" I said throwing my arms in the air in a rather dramatic fashion (whaaaat? I have to make a scene don't I?)

"Ok, ok, ok…… so what happened" said Link.

"Well……"

**Flashback Time**

"Ooooooh there's the cutest dress over there" squealed Farore as she dragged her sisters over to the shop which meant that I was also dragged along as Nayru was clutching my arm in a rather disturbing manner (can someone tell me what's wrong with her!!!).

"You're so right there Farore girl" said Din.

"It's just perfect for me" Nayru said excitedly. "Don't you think I'd look just gorgeous in that dress Hammer Boy?"

"…… do you really need to ask me?" I said.

"Of course silly, now how would I look?" Nayru asked again.

"Ummmm…… I guess you would look very nice and……. Wait a second, Navi's just trying to tell me something."

_All of the writing that is done in Italic during speaking is when I'm muttering to myself, the others can't hear me when I do that_

Navi quickly whispered into my ear. "You're going to hurt her feelings if you continue going the way you are so take this note and read it out word for word to her or else."

"……Ok, if you say so" I said with a look of confusion on my face.

I walked back over to Nayru and started speaking.

"Sorry about that, now where was I?...... oh yes, ummm lets see…… The dress would… suit you perfectly?...... I mean of course the dress would suit you perfectly. Yeah and I think that it would really make that …… _gorgeous? She wants me to say gorgeous_… oh well, yeah it would really make that gorgeous hair of yours stand out and attract peoples attention in a good way, not a bad way if that's what you thought I was saying."

"How does he know to say all the right things to Nayru?" Din whispered to Farore.

"I have no idea…… oh well it makes Nayru happy" Farore whispered back.

"Well what I'm saying here is…… _oh maaaaan she wants me to say that?*sigh*_…… Ok, it'llmakeyoulookreallybeautiful……"

"Could you please say that last part a bit slower Hammer Boy?" said Nayru sweetly.

"…… do I have to?"

"Of course you do and if you don't I'll hurt you" said Din.

"Dinny that's no way to talk to him" said Farore.

"And since when have you told me what to do. You're not my boss" said Din arrogantly.

"Oh yeah, well I'm a better goddess than you!!" yelled Farore.

"You wanna bet on that!!!" yelled Din and fireballs appeared in her hands.

"YEAH!!" Farore yelled back and vine whips appeared in her hands.

"This'll be interesting" said Leo.

"Yup" said Navi.

"I hope Link is fine" said Saria.

"Now is the perfect time to escape" I said and started to creep away.

"Hammer Boy, tell me what you were going to say" said Nayru as she grabbed my arm.

"The dress will make you look really beautiful, can I go now" I said clearly and without hesitation because I was really annoyed and wanted to run away. "……. Oh damn, I did not just say that……"

*GLOMP*

"You are the sweetest, most caring and lovable person in the whole entire universe" said Nayru as she held onto me tightly. "Now go and take this tomato as a symbol of my…"

"PEANUTS!!!!! GET YOU'RE ROASTED PEANUTS AND WATCH THE GODDESSES FIGHT IN THE MATCH OF THE CENTURY!!!!!" yelled some random guy selling……wait a second those aren't peanuts, that sonofa*beeep*.

"… So go now" Nayru finished (yeah she talked through the whole thing but I didn't hear anything during the PEANUT episode) and placed a tomato in my hand and ran off to watch the fight.

"Ok…… hey I don't even like tomatoes" I muttered to myself as I ran towards the castle.

"We'll come with you" said Navi, Saria and Leo as they ran and flew after me.

**End Flashback**

"And that's how I got here" I said.

"What about Saria?" asked Link with worry.

"Meh, she's probably still with Leo and Navi who has been giving them wrong directions and useless information"

"Well let's get out of here before Impa finds me and brings me back to the crazy, obsessed princess" said Link.

"It's a bit late for that" said Impa as she stepped out of the shadows (AAAHHHH… how does she bloody do that) and grabbed Link's arm.

"Let go of me" said Link as he struggled out of her grasp.

"I have to bring you back to Zelda and if you're a bit bruised up it still doesn't matter."

"Oh so you'll fight me. Bring it on!!!"

"Good thing you don't know the only weakness of the Sheikah!!!" said Impa as she lunged at the young Hero of Time.

"OMG Link's fighting Impa" said Navi as she flew over to the bushes where I was sitting.

"Is there anything we can do?" said Leo.

"I'm sorry guys but the Sheikah have only one secret hidden weakness that we do not know about" said Saria with tears in her eyes.

"That's so sad" said Leo.

"I should be able to find that weakness. I did it all the time to help Link" said Navi in a smug tone of voice.

"Well Navi, the thing is that you only ever pointed out the most bleeding obvious weak spots of the enemy and then there was some bosses like Volvagia who you said you didn't know the weak spot of when it was obvious to everyone else that they should hit the head with the big hammer you found in the dungeon. I mean come on…… you're pretty hopeless Na*WHACK, BAM, CRACK, HURTY SOUNDS*………Ok I'm going to kill you fairy!!"

Navi flew up into the air near Link and Impa, just out of my reach and started yelling insults at me.

"Something to throw……something to throw……. aha, the tomato!!!" I said and pulled out the tomato that Nayru had given me.

"Oooh that's a real quality tomato" said Saria. "Can you just let me have a seed?"

"Um, ok" I said and managed to get a seed out of the tomato (yucky, yucky).

"Great now I can multiply it using my sagely powers…… works really well if you have to open a salad bar."

"Well that's great to hear but I really gotta hit that fairy" I said and threw the tomato.

Now then I happen to be extremely bad at hitting my target when throwing and the tomato missed Navi and kept sailing past……*SPLAT*.

Impa's face had tomato splattered over it. She started to shake…

"I'm dead!!!" I yelled.

Then the most unexpected thing happened.

"AAAARRHHH it burns, I can feel my strength ebbing away… CURSE YOU TOMATO!!!!!!" yelled Impa.

"Wow" said Leo.

"Didn't see that one coming" said Navi.

"Saria, make more tomatoes, Navi come here I need you for something."

"Way ahead of you LH, here's a tomato" said Saria.

"What do you need me for?" said Navi.

"Well Impa will be ready for another throwing attack so I need you to hold this tomato while I shoot you from this conveniently placed slingshot towards Impa. You will be travelling fast enough to dodge her counterattacks and then get her with the tomato" I said with a grin.

"What? No wa,eeeeeeek!!!!!" said Navi as I grabbed her, strapped the tomato to her front and placed her in the slingshot.

"No time for negotiation……ready, aim and FIRE!!!!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH *SPLAT*"

"Wow it looked like Navi wasn't even needed there, Impa didn't even try to block it" said Saria.

"Yeah, I knew that would happen" I replied.

"You whaaaaat!!?" yelled Leo.

"I just wanted to shoot Navi from the slingshot into some hard object; the tomato was the icing on the cake".

"She'll kill you when she finds out" said Saria.

"Yeah I know, but this is worth the pain" I said with a grin.

"You're crazy" said Leo while shaking his head.

"Yup, so get used to it because the adventure hasn't ended."

*groan*.

"Come on guys, let's get out of here while Impa is down!!!" yelled Link as he carried the unconscious and tomato covered Navi.

"You can say that again" I said as we all started to run.

"Come on guys *WHACK*" and Link rubbed his sore jaw

"Don't say it again…… twit" I said and rubbed my sore fist. (what? he had to hurt his enemies in someway even when he got injured).

**Back at the Castle**

"Oh, Linkypoo… I'm ready to get married" said Zelda as she ran up the tower steps.

"This'll be a hard one to explain to the princess" said Impa as she pondered life after death.

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Well did ya laugh? please review and tell me what you thought about this. Remember that this story wouldn't exist without you reviewers...... or Iced Coffees and Cookies but that's not important....... ok so it is.

Until the next chapter. Farewell, goodbye, cia, adios, au revoir, Auf Wiedersehen........ Ting Tong Tae!!!!! (Robin Hood: Men In Tights...... I don't own that either).


	18. A Cunning Plan! yeah,no

Well I'm still alive.........for now. Wait till you read the chapter. Anyway I don't own the Legend of Zelda but a guy's gotta have dreams.....or something like that. It's a bit hard to believe that there are now 18 chapters but I'm not complaining. ENJOY ANOTHER RANDOM EVENT IN THE ZELDA CHAT ROOM!!!! (It'll probably need a new name soon so tell me what you think it should be.)

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**Navi: I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!!!**

**Leo: I told him this would happen.**

**Link: Yup…… I feel sorry for the poor guy.**

**Saria: Well he may deserve it just slightly this time.**

**Malon: So you're in the same boat as me now Princess.**

**Zelda: Shut Up farmgirl.**

**Ruto: Ha ha ha ha!!! It's obvious that I'm the person Link will marry so suck it up ladies.**

**Malon: I had a very faulty lawyer so he got in the way!!!!**

**Zelda: My assistant just had to have her only weakness exploited and she scared Link away!!!!**

**Impa: It was not my fault Princess. It was that authors fault, that LinkHammer!!**

**MRZ&I: We have to get him before he can completely ruin our lives!!!**

**Din: I feel like hitting something.**

**Nayru: But didn't you hit Farore enough times?  
Din: Yeah but she hit back.**

**Farore: And I won.**

**Din: No you didn't!!!!**

**Farore: Wanna go again just so I can prove it?**

**Din: If that's what you want.**

**Nayru: Sisters stop it!!!!!**

**Farore: Sorry…… this is all that LinkHammer's fault.**

**Din: Let's go get him!!!!**

**Nayru: Don't you dare hurt him!!!…… I'm coming along just to make sure.**

**And every girl except Saria found me sitting on a log packing away some tools and cleaning my hammer.**

**Navi: Surround him.**

**Everyone Else: Ok**

**Me: Oh hi girls!**

**Navi: Charge!!!!!!!**

**Girls: YAAAAAAAA!!!!!**

**Nayru: I'M COMING FOR YOU HAMMER BOY!!!!**

***CLANG, CLANG, WHOOSH etc.***

**Let me describe the scene…… I'm standing in the centre of the area while all the girls are caught in traps around me, I mean what did you think I was doing with all those tool?**

**Zelda: Let me go!!!**

**Malon: You'll regret this!!!**

**Impa: I know you don't have any tomatoes**

**Ruto: Just you wait!!!**

**Navi: MUST KILL!!!!!!!**

**Nayru: I know this was an accident. I still lo.....**

**Din: I'll get him; I'll get him good!!!!**

**Farore: *sigh* must I do everything *clicks fingers*.**

**By using her powers Farore released everyone from their traps and transported them into a ring around me……**

**Me: Oh *beeeeeeeeeeeeep* this is gonna hurt…………*WHACK, CRACK, SMASH, BASH, BAM, THUMP, HURTY, SINGE, SLAP, SLASH, KISS* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!**

**Link: Oooooooo, that's gotta hurt.**

**Leo: Yeah well the kiss wouldn't have done much.**

**Link: Are you kidding? He would have died from the kiss if he was actually allowed to die here.**

**Leo: What do you mean if he was allowed to die?**

**Link: Why do you think he and Navi are still alive after everything they've done to hurt each other?**

**Leo: Good point………**

**Saria: LinkHammer will be **_**"Out of Order"**_** for a short while after this…… Stay tuned and you may eventually hear from him in another chapter of Link's Valentines Day, even though it's not Valentines Day in Hyrule anymore.**

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If you thing that was violent then raise your hand......... If you actually raised your hand then give yourself a laugh and pat on the back then review and tell me if you did. Don't forget that I want to hear idea's on what the Zelda Chat Room could be called..... if you're lucky I might choose one that I really like.

Cya


	19. Beware Comy Sofas!

Another chapter is finally up. Sorry about the delay but i've just had no time to write this for ages. I've had to do heaps of homework. Well enough whinging, time for the disclaimer.

I don't own the Legend of Zelda...... easy huh?

Well I hope, dear readers, that you find this chapter amusing. I know that I did, so start reading.

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Ah, a peaceful day in the land of Hyrule……… Nah I'm just joking with you, I mean how could this day be less chaotic and noisy especially with me stirring up all of the Zelda characters?

"GET THEM FOR THE PRINCESS"………"FLEE!!!!!!!!!!"

Link and Saria ran away from the castle while holding each others hands. Navi and Leo flew away from the castle while holding each others hands. Then there was me all by my lonesome running away from the castle until a friendly rock decided to make an acquaintance with my foot.

"Ah sh*t!!! *THUMP*"

"One of them is down!! Let's get him!!!!" yelled the castle guards as they chased after our little group.

"Stupid rock!!!!" I yelled as I got up and began running again.

"Ha, ha, ha!!!!" laughed Navi. "Does the rocky wocky like Hammy Wammies footsy wootsy?"

"Look at me and say that again Navi!!" I yelled as a caught up with the group.

"Oh I'll say more than just that you pathetic excuse for a human being, why you are a…" Navi started to rant.

"_Come on, just keep looking at me for a bit further Navi… heh heh heh"._ I thought as I watched the road ahead.

"… and if you were to go there, all of the people would *WHACK!!!*".

Navi's rant was cut off as she flew straight into an overhanging tree branch that I had spotted earlier as she teased me about the rock incident.

"Ha, ha, ha!!!!" I laughed. "Does the branchy wanchy like Navi Wavi's facey wacey?"

"SHUT UP OR I"LL KILL YOU, YOU *BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE…*

**10 Minutes Later**

*EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!"

"Whoa, that's one angry fairy" Link whispered to Saria.

"Yeah, well what do you expect after LinkHammer just got her back really good for what she was laughing at him about…… Did that sentence make any sense?"

"Nope but I still managed to catch the general gist of it" said Link with a smile.

"That's good" said Saria and she returned the smile (awww that's so sweet…… what? No I won't do that…… you can't make me, NOOOOOOOO).

"Those guards will keep chasing us unless we find a good place to hide" panted Leo.

"Let's go to Zora's Domain" said Link.

"You really want to go there after everything that happened today?" said Navi in astonishment. For once I agreed with her……that'll never happen again…… I hope *shudder*.

"Well not really, but I have to go there because there is the slightest chance that a hero is needed and besides, the guards won't follow because their armour will rust and most of them can't swim anyway" said Link.

"Good plan" said Saria and with that we were all running towards Zora's Domain.

**Zora's Domain……they should really have a more catchy name than that**

"You say he's actually coming here right now?!!" princess Ruto squealed with joy.

"Yes princess, him and the rest of his group are running in this direction" said Wikred the captain of the royal Zora guards.

"Oh, he's running right towards me as fast as he can because he loves me so much and he wants the other people in his group to be witnesses" Ruto said dreamily.

"_Or maybe it's because they are being chased by a horde of Hylian Guards"_ Mickred thought, but he didn't say out loud or he would be fish food for Lord Jabu Jabu.

"Get the bonding ceremony prepared!!!" Ruto started yelling to her servants.

"Are you sure princess? This is a very serious move by one so young, bonding is a final commitment?" asked a servant.

"Of course I'm sure, I will have Link for myself!!!" Ruto yelled.

"_Poor fellow… he won't respond well to having to bond with Ruto, he's not even a Zora… how will that work out?" _thought the servant before continuing on with his tasks.

**Zora's Domain**

Hey we were already there in the story, what's the big idea you got doing that for?

**……****Somewhere Else in Zora's Domain…… much better**

"Well we're finally here" said Link with relief.

"Yeah, and those soldiers are gone as well" said Saria as she grinned at Link.

"This is such a beautiful place" said Navi. "The water is such a great shade of blue."

"Nothing will ever be as beautiful a blue as your glow Navi" said Leo as he held Navi's hand.

"Awww that's so sweet of you Leo" said Navi and gave him a small kiss on the cheek.

"I can't wait to go swimming after I've spoken to Ruto" said Link excitedly.

*everybody contented sigh*

"GAHHHH!!!! Why does there have to be so much water? I'm terrible at swimming…… and the Zora's swim around in this stuff all the time, who knows what stuff they've done in it" I said.

"…… Let's not think about that" said Saria.

A Zora guards ran towards our little group. "Sir Link, the Princess requires you're immediate presence in the Water Cavern."

"Water Cavern?" said Link in a confused manner.

"Well it would be now that the majority of the ice in the cavern is melted" I said to Link.

"Oh, well if that's the case then lets go" said Link before running off towards the Water Cavern.

**Water Cavern…… Ice Cavern sounded cooler…… pardon the pun.**

"Why is this place so jazzed up?" said Saria as we all wandered through the cavern corridors.

"Maybe they are having a ceremony" said Navi.

"Why would they hold a ceremony?" said Link.

"Probably to honour your presence Link" said Leo.

"That is possible" I said. "However, something doesn't seem right about this. Why would they go through all this trouble to decorate a cavern when they could have done this in the Domain?"

"That's a good point there LH" said Link.

"I would have thought of that soon" said Navi.

"Yeah just like you would have thought of Volvagia's weakness right after Link hit it in the head with the Megaton Hammer for the millionth time and killed it" I scoffed.

*WHACK*

"YOU'RE GOING DOWN FAIRY!!" I yelled and chased after the now fleeing Navi.

"Will those two ever stop trying to hurt each other?" asked Saria.

"Not as long as LH keeps pointing out Navi's innumerable faults and Navi reacts to them in the only way she can… with FURY!" Link replied with dramatic effect.

"A simple no would have sufficed" said Leo.

"But it's not dramatic enough" said Link.

"You've been taking lesson from LH haven't you Link" said Saria.

"Is that a rhetorical question?" asked Link.

"Are Kokiri not able to fly? Replied Saria.

"ummmmmm" murmured Link as he thought about the time he shot Mido out of a canon.

"Of course the answer is yes. Kokiri definitely can't fly" Leo butted in.

"Where are we supposed to go from here?" said Saria.

"Ruto will probably be waiting in the final room of the cavern" said Link. "Everything always has to be in the last room you can get to, it's just bl**dy typical."

"Sounds like you're used to this Link" said Saria.

"You wouldn't believe how many things like this place I've had to go through" said Link shaking his head.

"Well you know where to go then so lead the way!" said Leo and the group of three walked off to find Ruto.

**Over to Wherever I've Chased Navi……bloody fairy *WHACK***

*huff, puff, wheeze* "I give up…… I can't chase you any longer" I said as I collapsed on the floor.

"Hah I knew you wouldn't get me, NAH NAH NAH NAH!!!!!" tainted Navi as she flew really close to my head.

*GRAB*

"YES IT WORKED!!!" I said as I held the fairy in my hands.

"I'll be free soon" said Navi smugly.

"What do you mean?" I asked confused.

*DO DO DO DOOOOOO!!!* (Get Item Music) and my hands rose above my head and Navi floated in between them. Then she promptly flew over and……

*SLAP*

"That was for grabbing me!!" she fumed.

"Cr*p, why does that always happen when you get an item here?" I said.

"Because it makes people look like idiots" said Navi and stuck out her tongue.

"I wonder what the text box said about you as an item?...... time for a FLASHBACK, *DUN DUN DUUUUUUUN!!!*……. Well that was cool"

**FLASHBACK……yeah we already knew that…… TWIT**

*DO DO DO DOOOOOO!!!* _'You got Navi, aka: the extremely annoying and useless fairy. Our recommendation is to put her in a tightly sealed container which she can never escape from, then throw her into the deepest part of the ocean with heavy weights attached. She won't die because she's an NPC so we advise you to make the container soundproof so that we will not have any traumatised sailors or scuba divers in the future…… set to a C button to use.'_

"Who would write such a nasty thing about me?" said Navi with tears in her eyes.

"Man, I'm glad that I paid that game programmer guy enough money to write that" I said. "……wait did I just say that out loud?"

*WHACK, BAM, POW*…………"I'll take that as a yes".

**Back to the Present**

"These decorations still have me puzzled Navi" I said as I slowly picked myself up from the ground and wiped the blood from my lip.

"Let's ask that conveniently placed Zora over there" said Navi.

"Wait, did you actually say something helpful?" I said with astonishment across my face.

"I've been taking lessons" she replied curtly.

"Whatever…… hey Zora person, could you please tell us what all these decorations are for" I said.

"They are to celebrate princess Ruto finally deciding someone to bond with."

"What do you mean by bond?" asked Navi.

"We Zora's believe that having a child is the ultimate show of love, as such we proclaim it as bonding" said the Zora.

"Well there's something you don't hear everyday, don't you agree LH?....... uh LH, where are you?" said Navi looking around. "Wait did you say that Ruto wants a child? WITH WHO!!?" shouted Navi.

"Some Hylian guy named Link" replied the Zora before wandering off.

"OMG I GOTTA WARN LINK BEFORE IT'S TO LATE!!!" yelled Navi before flying off to do what I had figured out should be done earlier… talk about thick or what.

**Over to Link, Leo and Saria**

"Well we're finally here" said Link as the group stood outside of a lavishy decorated door.

"Well let's go in then" said Saria as Link opened the door.

Link stepped through just as I came rushing around the corner.

"NOOOO DON'T GO IN THERE!!!" I yelled as the door slammed behind Link and bars of ice slammed in front of it.

"What's happening LH?" asked Saria in a worried voice.

"Ruto wants to mate with Link to marry and bind him to her" I said as I grabbed the ice bars and started trying to move them.

"We have to help him somehow" said Saria as she also tried to move the bars.

I hit the ice with my hammer and Navi eventual found us and used the cricket bat but the ice wouldn't even chip.

"This ice must need to be melted by that weird blue fire that you find in this cavern!!!" I shouted.

"Quickly look for some, Link can't hold out long in there!!" yelled Saria.

**In the Bonding Room……*shudder***

Well it's time for you to make a final commitment to me now Link" said Ruto with a coy smile on her face.

"What do you mean Ruto? I came into this blasted room and I'm now covered in this weird smelling water. What could you possibly want from me now?" said an annoyed Link.

"Simple. We shall have a child" said Ruto while walking towards Link.

"No way am I going to have a kid with you!!!" shouted Link.

"Your resistance barriers will break down soon Link. That water will make you unable to resist any female charm when it kicks in. All I have to do is wait" said Ruto and sat down with a smug grin on her face.

"It'll never work Ruto. Just because you're looking sexier by the minute doesn't mean that the water's working……oh damn, this is not good" said Link whilst looking extremely worried by that last statement.

"I think it's time now" said Ruto as she got up and started walking towards Link again.

**Meanwhile in the Heavens**

"I'd say we've had a fairly successful day today. What about you Farore" said Din as she lounged on her comfy sofa.

"Yeah it was pretty good Dinny. Just checking to see we've done everything……*huuuuummmmmmmmm*…… hmm it would seem we forgot to hit Ruto with a random object today Din" replied the green haired goddess.

"WHAAAT!!? I knew we forgot something… that fish woman's probably all smug about not getting hit like Malon and Zelda. Get some lightning!!!" yelled Din.

"Sorry but I lost the bid on Ebay so we don't have any" replied Farore.

"What about a rock?" asked a frantic Din.

"Oh I threw all of them out" said Nayru as she entered the area.

"Are you telling me that we have no projectile weapons to hit that freaky fish woman?" said Din.

"Well there is your comfy sofa" said Nayru.

"FINE!! Lock and load the……. *sigh* comfy sofa."

"Locked and loaded" said Farore.

"FIRE!!!" yelled Din. As the sofa flew down to Hyrule a tear was seen to fall from the fiery haired goddess's eye. Yeah she really liked that comfy sofa.

**The Room of Doom!!!**

"NOOOO GET AWAY FROM ME!!!" yelled Link as Ruto got closer to him.

"You're mine now my little Linky *THUMP*……"

"Huh?" said Link as he stared at the sofa that had fallen on top of the now unconscious Ruto. "Oh well, I might as well have a seat while I wait to be busted out of here…… oooooo, this is a really comfy sofa."

*SMASH*

The door suddenly shattered and Saria, Leo, Navi and I rushed into the room with me holding my hammer dripping oil and coursing with blue fire (whaaat? It looks cool and dramatic). "Don't worry we're he*SPLASH*" I started to say as I tripped over something and fell into a pool of strange smelling water

"Are you alright Link?" asked Saria as she went to hug him.

"Keep away from me Saria. This water stuff makes it so that I can't control my hormones near females" said Link.

"I understand Link, me and Navi will wait outside until it wears of. Until then, love you" said Saria and blew him a kiss before rushing out side.

"I'll go with them" said Leo and flew out.

"Ughh this stuff smells weird" I said as I stood up.

"Hey LH you may want to keep away from girls for a bit" said Link from his seat on the couch.

"Yeah I heard. Good thing the girls are all outside" I said with a grin.

*POOF*

"Hi Hammer Boy" said Nayru as she appeared in front of me and Link.

"Oh this can't be good" said Link.

"Uh hi Nayru… wow you look *slaps self in face*, _get a hold of yourself man._ Um this really isn't a good time right now" I said.

"It's always a good time with you" said Nayru as she grabbed my arm.

"LINK, THE WATER IS STARTING TO TAKE CONTROL!!!" I yelled.

"Nayru you should get away from him…. He has some sort of nasty water on him that has made him….. uh sick. Yeah really sick and if you touch him to long you will also get sick" said Link.

" Oh…. Ok" said Nayru and she slowly started to form a blue ball of light around herself to warp her back to the heavens.

*KISS*

"_Shit!!!! The Water did it"_ I said as I stared at Nayru.

"I KNEW YOU LOVED ME HAMMER BOY!!!" squealed Nayru before she teleported away.

*WHACK, THUMP, WHACK, CRACK, BAM*

"Uh, LH you're gonna break the wall if you hit your head against it any longer" said Link.

*WHACK, THUMP, WHACK, CRACK, BAM*

"This is going to take a while" said Link while shaking his head.

**A Few Hours Later in Kokiri Forest**

"Well I guess that's the end of this adventure" said Link as we all watched the sun slowly set.

"Yeah, and it was rather exciting if I do say so myself" said Saria as she cuddled closer to him.

"I totally agree" said Navi as she did the same thing to Leo.

"Well this means that I am finally allowed my powers back and I can go home" I said.

"You're going already?" asked Leo.

"Well I'll stick around for one last session in what I now like to call _**'THE IMPRESSIVELY LARGE ROOM OF DOOM IN WHICH FEMALES LIKE TO HURT AUTHORS IN ALL SORTS OF HURTFUL WAYS WHICH LEAVE HIM HALF DEAD AND IN NEED OF RECOVERY'**_**…. Or something like that.**

Until then I'm afraid you'll have to hang on a little longer.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

Well that's the end of the chapter so I hope you enjoyed it. Well i'm kinda sad now that i've announced the end of this chapter and the end of the story, but don't worry. There is still chapter 20 in the big place I mentioned which used to be the Zelda Chat Room.

Until then R&R. Cya


	20. FINALE! cool

Here it is...... the final chapter of **_THIS STORY_**. I'll write other stories of course so don't party yet, I'll still be around to annoy you for a reeeeeeaaaaaaal long time. Anything to do with Zelda is not owned by me in any way though I am planning on changing that if possible.......you gotta have a dream don't you?

Well enough talking on my behalf......lets see what happens when I finally leave these people alone.

_______________________________________________________________________________________

**Me: Well it really has been great here in Hyrule with you mob and I'm sure we all had our little laughs along the way……except Malon, Zelda and Ruto who had their plans foiled in some weird and random way.**

**Link: Yeah. This was a really great adventure and I can't wait for another one.**

**Saria: As long as I'm in it, I also can't wait to see another LinkHammer adventure.**

**Navi: Well I'm the most important person in any Zelda plot and so I'll also need to be in whatever adventure LinkHammer comes out with from his strange random imagination.**

**Me: Be careful what you wish for…… be very careful. Well now that all of you are here I have something to say to each of you as individuals.**

**Malon, you should really get a better lawyer and try to understand that flying hammers can always appear as if from no-where.**

**Zelda, you should build Impa a tomato proof suit of armour. Also try to make your efforts to have Link marry you a but more subtle, that really scares any guy. Win him over slowly.**

**Ruto……… COUCH!!!!!! Don't ever try something like what you did earlier, it's just too freaky.**

**Link, keep up the good work with saving Hyrule and everything. *whisper* **_**don't let the other girls win you away from Saria in this lifetime.**_

**Saria, don't you dare let Link fall in love with any other girl during this lifetime…… also can you teach me your song sometime.**

**Leo, keep Navi occupied and try to curb her vicious tendencies.**

**Navi…… you really aren't a bad fairy after all, lets stop trying to kill each other for now and call a truce *holds out hand*.**

**Navi: Deal.**

**Me: Farore you gotta let me use your computer programs sometime, they are to cool to resist.**

**Din, I got your comfy sofa completely repaired for you, that'll cost ya at least 10 iced coffees.**

**Nayru… I think that this **_**'relationship'**_** is going too fast for me… We really need to slow this down. For now lets be friends.**

**Nayru: Ok but you still owe me a kiss.**

**Me: What!?**

**Nayru: You do.**

**Me: *sigh* ok…… *kiss on the cheek* (blaaargh, yucky yucky……hmmm)**

**Well I'm going now so Cya all *VANISH*.**

**Link: I can't believe that he has done so much for us.**

**Saria: He really is a really good if not a bit strange person.**

**Malon: Time to take his advice seriously.**

**Ruto and Zelda: Agreed Malon girl.**

**Farore: hmmmm. I did get a new program installed that he might like to use.**

**Din: MY BEAUTIFUL COMFY SOFA!!! HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!**

**Nayru: He kissed me again!!!!!!!!! I'm the happiest girl in the world…… well happiest goddess at least.**

**Leo: I'll do my best to help people.**

**Navi: Wow…… I never expected that we would have a truce. It's a nice feeling not wanting to kill him……**

***WHACK***

**Ow what was that?...... A rock with a message?**

'_**Dear Navi………. Truce ended and me with first point, SUCKED IN!!!!!'**_

**Navi: I'LL KILL HIM!!!!!!!!!**

**Far away in the place that I call home.**

**Me: Score!!!!............ hmmm those canon's look really interesting. I wonder if I can send an order for them to be sent to Hyrule?…… This madness is ended for now but just wait for another story that should appear at any random point in time. Be prepared for anything now folks.**

_______________________________________________________________________________________

And there you have it, the end of this wacky set of events. This doesn't mean you get away with not reveiwing.

Well I'd like to thank all the people who reviewed my story and for the numerous people who even managed to read it without going completely insane (it's hard, I know). Well until my next exciting story is made I wish you all the best of luck and the ability to be random. Cya folks.

LinkHammer signing out to go drink some serious iced coffee......WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


End file.
